Patrick Sharp got married.
Yeah. Now, here's the reaction I'm sure you've been waiting for. Ahem.
Um, WTF?! WHY THE HELL WOULD HE GET MARRIED???!!!! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE WAS IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP! I MEAN, I KNEW HE WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP (her name is Abby Banever, she's a blonde, obvi, I mean it's Patty) BUT STILL, IT'S SHARPIE! HE'S A PLAYER, HE DOESN'T GET MARRIED!! THEY CALL HIM THE UTERUS KILLER!! OH DEAR LORD HE'S MARRIED. PATRICK SHARP IS MARRIED, PATRICK SHARP IS OFF THE MARKET. Dear God, this is tragic, this is just horrible. I can't even believe this.
Right, okay, now that we've covered that, some other marriage news that might come as a bit of a shocker, but for a bit of a different reason.
Marian Hossa, yeah, remember him? He got married too. ROFLCOPTER. I know, right?! Laughing out loud right now. Who the fuck would marry him? His name is Marian. And on top of that, he like, loses Stanley Cups. Well, I guess not anymore. But God. Who in their right mind would marry Marian Hossa, seriously. This woman's got issues.
At least she's got legit un-blonde hair though. Not that I have a problem with blondes. I mean, they do have more fun. But I thoroughly enjoy it when hockey players take the high-road and actually do something different than the stereotype for once. I hate stereotypes. Can't work 'em.
Hossa you're a dork. We all mourn for Patty Sharp.
No comments:
Post a Comment