Just Me Thinking

I was thinking about making a post about nicknames. You wouldn't believe some of the things these guys come up with. Did you know the Hawks named Patrick Sharp "Uterus Killer"? That's really funny. Also, I might do a beauty pageant...I'm trying to think of what team to do, I might even do Baby Canada 2009, because someone won't just do it themselves...

Just a heads up. If you have any other ideas or things that you want me to do, don't hesitate to tell me. Comments are appreciated!

Injured Reserve

If the injured player percentage continues spiralling down at this rate, there won't be any players left by the end of next week. It all began with poor Maxime, who had a shoulder surgery during the summer and wasn't expected to be back for four to five months. That was...three or four months ago, so not long left to wait!

Then Adam Burish got injured during one of the pre-season games, and won't be back playing for a while. That was pretty sad. I got over it. But then, low and behold, Sergei Gonchar. A broken foot. Out.

Not long after, Johnny Toews gets caught with his head down, and gets slammed in the middle of the ice. I almost cried when that happened; he went down right away, spun a bit, got up, took a few measly steps, and fell over again. I could tell he was embarrassed; he went straight to the bench. It was kind of funny though, on the bench they kept the camera on him, and his teammates and coaches kept coming up to him askin gif he as okay. There was no sound, but you could read their lips. After the first few, Jon was like, "Yeah, I'm fine," but then the more they came and came and came, he was all like, "I'M FINE, OKAY? LEAVE ME ALONE!" Yeah, I know. I laughed.

So, Tazer is out with a concussion or something. And then Spezz leaks out that he might sit a game or two because of "bumps and bruises", in his own words. He never ended up skipping any, until last night against Tampa Bay, where he said to be out with a back problem. The Sens didn't do too well without him, I'll tell you that. I hope he comes back soon.

Well, I thought that was enough injuries of my favorite players, don't you? Guess the Hockey Gods didn't think so. They decided, "Oh, Sergei Gonchar seems lonely, all injured by himself. Let's give him a Russian to keep him company!" So they decide to take my Geno. *tear*

If this keeps up, soon Sid and Ovie'll get hurt too, and then what'll those commentators talk about all game long?

Guess The Face!

We're starting a new segment here on Loonie Engraved, called Guess The Face! The rules are pretty self-explanitory; you'll be shown a part of a face, and you'll have to guess which hockey player it belongs to. On today's game, we will be playing with eyes, a fairly important factor on the beauty scale. Just look at the picture, write down your answer, and then scroll down to find out who it belongs to. Ready to play?

Set of eyes#1

Set of eyes #2

Set of eyes #3

Set of eyes #4

Set of eyes #5

Set of eyes #6

Now, SCROLL!

SCROLL

SCROLL

SCROLL

SCROLL

SCROLL

SCROLL

Answers:

#1: Alexander Ovechkin // Washington Capitals

#2: Sidney Crosby // Pittsburgh Penguins

#3: John Tavares // New York Islanders

#4: Kristopher Letang // Pittsburgh Penguins

#5: Jason Spezza // Ottawa Senators

#6: Patrick Kane // Chicago Blackhawks

Give yourself a score from 0 to 6.

If you got:

0-1: You know not much at all about the various hockey players of the NHL. In order to further your much needed knowledge, you should continue reading this blog.

2-4: You know a fair bit about the various hockey players of the NHL. Still, you have yet to learn some very important things, and should therefore continue reading this blog.

5-6: You are completely 100% obsessed with the various hockey players of the NHL. You love hockey more than almost anything in the world, and will find that your hockey info needs will be filled to capacity here. You should definitely continue reading this blog.

Happy Birthday E Staal!

And for the third brotherhood birthday of this blog, I present to you (drumroll, please).... Mr. Eric Staal! A married man, E has just today turned 25 years old, and is beginning his first year of parenthood! Funnily enough, many of E's most favorite celebrations just happen to be centered around the same time in the year: his anniversary, which takes place on August 3rd, which just happens to be two days before my birthday, his brother Jordan's birthday, on September 10th, his just-over-a-month-old son's birthday, on September 22nd, his own birthday, today, and finally, Halloween. Oh, how those hockey players love to dress up.

Yeah. Anyway, not the point of this post. The point of this post is to wish Eric Staal the very best on his birthday. Dude, you're halfway to fifty. Enjoy this year. If you get one more puck in the ear, you won't even live to see your next one. Please don't die. We all love you too much.

Is It Just Me?

Is it just me, or are my posts just getting worse and worse?

Freakishly Alike Looking

Why am I the only one on the face of the earth who thinks Tyler Myers, Steven Mason and Trevor Boris look extremely alike? Why can't anyone see it???

I Miss Colby

I had an average day today. Nothing was different from any other day, I went about my business like always. But for some reason, the moment I sat down at my desk to watch videos of Sidney Crosby laughing on youtube do my homework completely and thouroughly like the model student I am, I got this amazingly horrible ache in my stomach. And I realized I missed Colby Armstrong. So much. He's be gone for so long, and I thought I was over it, but it turns out, I'm not. Not even close. He belongs in Pittsburgh. Atlanta doesn't appreciate his individuality. I still have faith that he'll return home, though. Every day I'm wishing he'll come back. And he will. He will.
But, until then, to commemorate this moment of missing Colby, I've devised this picture ceremony for him. Listen to this song while you're looking at it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0Vw35hAQH8

Enjoy.

Thank you for watching.

I put that last picture there because Ryan Malone always makes me laugh. Colby is the one in the yellow shirt.

The Sens Lost. Again.

The Sens lost again. Ahh, geez. At least it went into shootouts this time. That was cool. You know, I expected Kovalev to score. He has the nicest hands, he should be about to deek around any goalie no problem. But instead, tonight, he chose to shoot at the net from about ten feet away and go wide. Nice thinking, Alexei. KIDDING. I love you. You are a true Habitant. You will return there someday and finish your career there. I know you will. You said so yourself. Haha, you know what would be funny? If the Habs never got him back, and he kept playing until he was like 60, and they'd all be like, "Hey, AK27, why havent you retired yet?" And he'll be all like, "I shall only retire once I have fulfilled my destiny of ending my career with Montreal. Yes, that's right, my destiny. I made it for myself. What are you talking about, of course you can do that. Stupid non-believers. " Yeah, that's what he'll say. And then he'll die playing for some shit team like the Kings who will only take him because they can't afford to get anyone else.

Anyway, I tend to get distracted easily. I was talking about the shootout. Alfie shot second. He did almost the exact same thing as Kovalev did, cept his didn't go wide. He went off the pad. His shot was pretty dang awful, too. It was a wrister, and yet it did not fly. Wierd, eh? At least Kovalev's was off the ice a tad.

Spezza shot third. Yay! That's as peppy as I can be for the moment, after seeing what a crap shot he did. It wasn't even a shot, he just stickhandled and stickhandled and stickhandled in front of the net slowly inching forward, and then gave it to the goalie. He was like, "Here buddy, have a puck. Oh no, you stay put, I'll just give it to you. Here, right up on your pad, there you go. Good job, man. Good game tonight."

I can't believe Boston caught up. It was 3-1 for Christ's sake! Sorry to any um...religious people out there who I may have offended with that. I'm an Athiast, just letting you know. I think God is bullshit, along with evolution. Stupid scientists whoever thought up that load of crap. Okay, if I hadn't offended any one already, that probably shoulda done it. Please keep reading my blog. I'll be nicer, I promise.

Uhm, I'd just like to have a short bragging session right now, if that's okay. Actually no, it's more like complaining. See, my hockey team, we sell wreaths and leaf bags and shit like that and we go door to door asking for contributions to our hockey assciation. Yeah, I know, but how else are we supposed to lose every single game all season wearing welfare jerseys? That take time. Anyway, this girl on my team, Laura, she lives in the same neighbourhood as Jay Spezz. I know. I remind her how jealous I am of her every day. Apparently she sees Jenny Snell walking around her street all the time. Apparently she's really short. I believe that. She's also apparently really pretty. I do not believe that. Anyways, Laura's gone to his house a couple times, you know, fundraisers and such, trickertreating, ect. But Smelly Snelly always answers the door. You know, to let JayJay avoid the paparatzi and all. But today, Laura goes up to the door and knocks, expecting to find nothing more than that blond slut showing up in her face, when guess who opens the door? Yeah, I know. Spezz did. He opens it and he'll like, "Yes?" And then Laura's voice goes all high and squeaky and she'll like, "Hi, we're from the Ottawa Girls Hockey Association and we were wondering if you'd like to make a donation-" and before she can even finish, Spezz is like, "Ottawa? Yay! One sec," and he dissapears into that multi-million dollar house of his. Yeah, I'm not even lying right now, he did say yay. Totally hot. Yeah, and while he's gone, my friend Hannan turn to Laura and says "Oh my fucking God!" right before he shows up around the corner. They don't know if he heard. Anyway, he comes back with a ten dollar bill, and gives it to them. A ten dollar bill! You know how much money he makes in a year? He makes millions a season, and all he can think to give poor cute like 14 year old hockey players in ten measly dollars? If I had been there, I would have given him a look. A look he woulda remembered for a while, let me tell you. Anyway, he gives them the money and then they're all just standing there, and he's looking down at them expectantly. It last for about ten seconds before my other friend Aisha finally asks for an autograph. The moment the words leave her lips, he's got a pen in hand and at the ready. Apparently he keeps a pen behind the door at all times, in case of immergency autograph signings. I think that's pretty smart, you know, thinking ahead. I like that in a man. It also shows arrogance, like he expects that everyone who shows up at his door is gonna ask for an autograph. Which they are, but it's cocky to assume so. Anyway, Spezz tries to signing her team jersey, but the pen doesn't work! So he'll all like, "Oh, sorry, I'll just go get another one," and he spends twenty minutes running around the house looking for a fucking pen. And they're just standing there in the doorway, looking at each other with smiles that say, "I am mildly content and mildly amused right now." Yeah, you know that look. Anyway, after 20 minutes he comes back all out of breath with a pen and signs around, and then they say thank you and he closes the door and and they leave. And then they come to hockey practice and tell me all about it. Because they know I love him. And they felt like flaunting it around in my face. Because they're mean. Aisha even wore the jersay that he signed during the whole practice. I got mad, but then she told me that he was wearing a tight, white, short-sleeved shirt and that his arms looked really really great, so I forgot about my anger and spent the rest of the day dreaming about that. Yeah, I know, I'm pathetic.

This Is All I Have To Say

The game. Last night. Against Nashville. Holy Fuck.

I have never seen Spezz smile so wide in my life as he did after that last goal with 1.6 seconds left on the clock. It made me jump up and down continuoulsy and point at the screen, all the while sqeeling. I was the only one in the room.

I just realized something...that first line of the post sounds a lot like I Love College. That party last night was awfully crazy, I wish they'd taped it. I danced my face off and had this one girl completely naked. Drank my drink and smoked my sssssssss, but my good friends is all I need. Pass out at three, wake up at ten, go out to eat, then do it again. Man, I love College.

Dude, love that song. Here's my remake for the game:

That Sens game last night was awfully crazy, I'm glad they taped it. Spezz worked his ass off and had the goalie spinning out of his goal-crease. Scored five goals in only one period, and these teammates are we need. Score a pretty sick goal, Leclaire let's one in, make a couple plays, then do it again. Man, I love hockey.

Oh yeah, I think I like the re-write better. Don't you?

Because I'm Leaving

I'm just putting this here because I'm going to Quebec City tomorrow, and I wanted to leave you guys with something while I'm gone. Take it home with you, chew it. Don't worry, I'll be back in four days :)

This is Eric Staal and his wife Tanya at their wedding. Look, you can almost see the speech bubble coming out of his mouth the says, "What the fuck have I gotte myself into?"

Oh, see, there it is.

Bee tee dub, those were my mad Paint skills at work. It took me litterally half an hour to make that little speech bubble, no joke. And also, what is it with these hockey player weddings and the vintage cars? I mean, we know you have money guys, you don't need to rub it in our faces. Jason Spezza had one too! His was a vintage Rolls Royce, but who's keeping track of useless little informations like that? No one. Except for me. That's why I don't have any friends. Except for you guys. You guys are my friends. Does anyone even read this thing? Because if not, I've litterally been talking to no one for the past six months. Ahh shit.

The Injured Reserve

Maxime isn't going to play. I'm torn. Completely torn. I saw on the Pens web site a few months ago and a thing that said, "Talbot Undergoes Successful Shoulder Surgery". I didn't bother reading the article because I thought, "Oh, good, he'll get to play soon." But, NO! Apparently the recovery time for undergoing shoulder surgery is four to five MONTHS. MONTHS!!!!!! Can you believe that? I'm not gonna get to see Superstar play for five months! Dude, this is gonna be the worst season ever, what with Adam Burish gone and all...shit, I hate the Hockey Gods.




I didn't mean that.

Just A Little Update

Alright, I'm sick today, and very bored, with nothing to do. So I've decided I'll update you on all the recent NHL info the I deam important enough to grace this humble blog.

• Alex Ovechkin is doing extremely well this season so far. Here's a scary thought for his opponents: Ovechkin had 56 goals last season but didn't get his third until Nov. 10. He already has gotten three in Washington's first two games this season and has had a hand in six of the 10 goals scored by the Caps in their two wins. Yeah, I know.
• Sid scored a goal in each of the Pens first two games this season, and got the clinching goal in the shootout against the Islanders on Saturday. He seems more than ready to lead his team and defend their championship.
• John Tavares, the #1 draft pick of the 2009 NHL entry draft, got a goal and an assist in his very first NHL game of his career, and got to shoot second in the shootout. Unfourtunately, his shot went wide, giving Pittsburgh the win. Nevertheless, what more can you hope for in your NHL debut?
• Martin Brodeur, the NHL's winningest regular-season goaltender played his 1,000th NHL game Saturday, and would most definitely like to forget it. Brodeur allowed five goals on 27 shots and was beaten by a couple of very stoppable shots in New Jersey's 5-2 home loss to Philadelphia. Looks like someone's getting old...I wonder if Steve Yzerman is re-considering his original plan to take the 'more experienced' goal-tenders to the Olympics. Maybe MAF has a shot after all.
• Adam Burish tore the anterior cruciate ligament in his right knee during a pre-season game against Minnesota, and will be out for six months. I don't know how I'm going to survive without seeing The Indian Burrito out on the ice every other night. He is the cheese to my macaroni. Do you know how plain macaroni is without cheese?

And Another Thing

Yesterday was also Patrick Roy's Birthday. He was one of the greatest goalies, if not the greatest goalie of all time. He played his prime years with the Montreal Canadiens, a team you and I both know I adore with all my heart. Even though they are now so small and pitiful, there was once a time when their roster held players like Maurice Richard, Jean Beliveau, Ken Dryden and Larry Robinson. Oh, those were the days. Remember them well, Patty. Remember them well.

By the by, Patrick Roy never actually played with any of those guys, but he contributed well to the Habs' success, as did they, so I just thought I'd metion them in this post. Also, a little fun fact: Mario Lemieux and Patrick were not only born on the same day, but in the same year as well! October 5th, 1965 must have been a very happy day in the hockey world.

Happy Belated, Mario

Yesterday, the whole world wished a very happy 44th birthday to Mario Lemieux! Now, I could go on and on and on and on about how great Mario is, how he holds practically the entire Pittsburgh Penguins association on his shoulders, how he was one of the greatest hockey players in history, how he housed Sidney Crosby for the first few years of his NHL career, blah, blah, blah. But I won't. Because I'm sick. I have a huge headache and a sore throat, so I'm really not in the mood to rant. So, basically this is all I'm gonna write, and I hope you already have at least the slighest idea of how important Mario Lemieux is in all of our lives, so I don't have to elaborate for you. Either way, these two pictures should just about say it all.

Happy Birthday, Mario.
You most definitely deserve your loonie.