BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLTEEHHEEHELMFAO
Kovalchuk had finally settled down.
HAHAHAHAHAHATEHEHEHEEEEROFLROFLROOOFLROOFFFLLLL
Ohmygoodness. This is the best thing that's happened all summer. Everytime I think about it I just burst into uncontrolled fits of laughter. Remember how Ilya Kovalchuk finally picked a team and signed a deal? Remember how the deal was for 102 million over 17 years? Haha. Well, Ilya's all happy and settled, and the Devils all breathed in a huge sigh of relief. Thank God, we got him. This long wait of tremendous suspense has finally come to an end.
And then the NHL pops in and says, "No, you can't do that."
BAJHAHHAHAHHAROFLROFLFRRLOOOOORLFFFORLFOAHBAHAHAHA
DEAR LORD. Apparently, the deal was in violation of some act or crap. They were like, you can't make a deal like that. And New Jersey was all, I checked the fucking act, and we aren't in violation of it. And then the NHL was like, dude. I make the rules here. I do not agree to this. Kovalchuk, you are now once again a free fucking agent.
And you know what Kovalchuk's agent issued out onto the site today as his opinions on the matter?
"No comment."
BAHAHAHKTEEEEALKFROALFORALALRRORLAALLAHAHFAHAHAHR
Showing posts with label MOMENTS THAT GIVE YOU HEART ATTACKS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MOMENTS THAT GIVE YOU HEART ATTACKS. Show all posts
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Toronto is Taking Over the World
Okay, I'm sorry I couldn't meld this all into one post. But I found this out about three seconds after I posted it, and I am too freaked out to add. Here's what happened: Toronto found lucky dust, or something, or they currently have a fairy godmother who is granting them three wishes and they've already used their first two. Because...ohmygod. Because they just recieved -no, stole- two of the most amazing people to ever set foot on NHL ice.
Kris Versteeg. Verbeauty. The wierdest, most amiable guy you'll ever meet in your life. Who just won the Stanley Cup with the Blackhawks. Who sang a song in front of the entire city of Chicago. Is going to Toronto. To play for the MAPLE LAUGHS.
Colby Armstrong. Our Colby. Who's heart belongs in Pittsburgh. Who married and actual decent human being. Who is not blonde. Is finally getting out of Atlanta, but is going somewhere much, much worse. Is going to Toronto. To play for the MAPLE LAUGHS.
This is the worst day of my life. They cannot go to Toronto. That is the bottom of the NHL food chain. You know what's going to happen to them there? They're going to disappear. They're going to fall off the face of this Earth because the Leafs don't have enough stamina to keep running at a pace that will force them to remain on the hockey tredmill of LIFE. They're going to die, and you'll never hear about any of them ever again.
And you know what Brian Burke said once he had added all those incredible people to his shit-face of a team? He's not done. He isn't finished. He's going to continue stealing all these wonderful men until there are none left for anybody else! This is a disaster.
Army, Verbeauty, go back. Get out. Go back to where you belong. Toronto will destroy you. Get out while you still have time! Stick together. The only way the two of you will be able to survive this is if you form an unbreakable bond of friendship. Stay together at all costs. Leave no man behind. If one goes down, you take the other one with you. This is your only chance for survival. Believe, men. You can get through this.
The Colby/Kris Memorial:
Now look at this picture and tell me you don't wanna puck your guts out for love for Colby.
Kris Versteeg. Verbeauty. The wierdest, most amiable guy you'll ever meet in your life. Who just won the Stanley Cup with the Blackhawks. Who sang a song in front of the entire city of Chicago. Is going to Toronto. To play for the MAPLE LAUGHS.
Colby Armstrong. Our Colby. Who's heart belongs in Pittsburgh. Who married and actual decent human being. Who is not blonde. Is finally getting out of Atlanta, but is going somewhere much, much worse. Is going to Toronto. To play for the MAPLE LAUGHS.
This is the worst day of my life. They cannot go to Toronto. That is the bottom of the NHL food chain. You know what's going to happen to them there? They're going to disappear. They're going to fall off the face of this Earth because the Leafs don't have enough stamina to keep running at a pace that will force them to remain on the hockey tredmill of LIFE. They're going to die, and you'll never hear about any of them ever again.
And you know what Brian Burke said once he had added all those incredible people to his shit-face of a team? He's not done. He isn't finished. He's going to continue stealing all these wonderful men until there are none left for anybody else! This is a disaster.
Army, Verbeauty, go back. Get out. Go back to where you belong. Toronto will destroy you. Get out while you still have time! Stick together. The only way the two of you will be able to survive this is if you form an unbreakable bond of friendship. Stay together at all costs. Leave no man behind. If one goes down, you take the other one with you. This is your only chance for survival. Believe, men. You can get through this.
The Colby/Kris Memorial:
Now look at this picture and tell me you don't wanna puck your guts out for love for Colby.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Does Anyone Still Have Any Clean Underwear On?
Is. Anyone. Aware. Of. What. Just. Happened.
The Habs. The Montreal Canadiens, Habitants, Blue, Blanc et Rouge. Le vrai, 101 years.
Just beat out.
The Washington Capitals.
Just beat out.
Alex Ovechkin, the Great 8, the Russian Machine.
Does anyone remember what I've been saying ever since the playoffs began? I predicted this outcome. Don't even say I didn't.
HABS. IN. 7.
Holy fuck.
The Habs. The Montreal Canadiens, Habitants, Blue, Blanc et Rouge. Le vrai, 101 years.
Just beat out.
The Washington Capitals.
Just beat out.
Alex Ovechkin, the Great 8, the Russian Machine.
Does anyone remember what I've been saying ever since the playoffs began? I predicted this outcome. Don't even say I didn't.
HABS. IN. 7.
Holy fuck.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Make Me Shit My Pants, Why Don't Ya
Um, wow. Kay. Post #103:
We think it's going into overtime, the score being 4-4 and all, but then the Habs score another goal to make it 5-4. Then we're all happy because Montreal does a really good penalty kill, allowing almost not shots on net. BUT THEN. Washington scores with a minute and half left!!!!!! Oh my goodness, now the score is tied up at 5, and both teams are fighting frantically for the same goal only on opposites ends of the universe.
No one scores.
Now it's going into overtime.
I predict a goal from Camalleri.
I am sticking to my game plan.
Habs in 4.
We think it's going into overtime, the score being 4-4 and all, but then the Habs score another goal to make it 5-4. Then we're all happy because Montreal does a really good penalty kill, allowing almost not shots on net. BUT THEN. Washington scores with a minute and half left!!!!!! Oh my goodness, now the score is tied up at 5, and both teams are fighting frantically for the same goal only on opposites ends of the universe.
No one scores.
Now it's going into overtime.
I predict a goal from Camalleri.
I am sticking to my game plan.
Habs in 4.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Livin' Dreams
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Right, well, I think that about sums it up.
My dreams are still alive.
1 down, 3 to go.
Habs in 4.
Right, well, I think that about sums it up.
My dreams are still alive.
1 down, 3 to go.
Habs in 4.
Many Beginnings of The Many Moments That Give You Heart Attacks
I. Just found out. Some. INCREDIBLE. News.
Do you wanna hear it?
It's about Tyler Myers.
Yeah. I thought you'd wanna hear it. So. Here it is.
As it turns out...Tyler Myers, someone we all hold very near and dear to our hearts...
Has a GIRLFRIEND!!
GASPGASPGASP
Was this your initial reaction?
...and then did it turn into this?
Yeah. That's how I felt. I don't know many details on the fact, but I have words from an undisclosed inside source that apparently she's a "piece of work". Updates will come later.
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