Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Staal

Okay, since I seem to be on somewhat of an honest streak, I think it's only fair that you learn all about my Staals. The truth is, I love them. They should all freaking have their own loonie to be engraved on. I'm serious. THERE ARE FOUR OF THEM! Geez. How often does that happen? Four brothers in the NHL all at the same time. That never happens EVER. NEVER.




Awwwww. And, to top it off, they're freakin awesome. Well, I don't know about Jared yet, but so far the first three are pretty damn amazing. Eric is my favorite. I'd just like to point that out, before we get into anything else. I had plans. I had plans for Eric Staal and I. We were gonna make the greatest couple of all time, but then I found out he was married. Yeah. Ouch. I always knew he got arrested, but I had no idea it was at his bachelor party. I blame his wife for that. I blame her for giving Eric and Jordan a record. I hate her. I hear she's really nice though. Speaking of giving Jordan a record, have you seen his mug shot? Geez, that is SOME gelled down hair-do. I mean seriously, I've heard of buisiness in the front, party in the back, but not buisiness all around. Especially at a BACHELOR party. I wonder if they had a stripper.



Yikes. But take a look at Eric's mug shot. That's hotness right there. That's the last picture there is of him before he got married. I'm dying inside as I write this. But, on a brighter note, he looks extremely good in all of the other pics there are of him. Anywhere. Trust me, I dare you guys to e-mail me a picture of Eric Staal that doesn't look good. el-vidge@hotmail.com

I don't feel right making fun of Jordan's hair. Besides, he just won the Stanley Cup, and he was so young and naive, he didn't knonw any better. He does now. I absolutely LOVED his playoff hair. He had the kind of tough guy look going on. Unfortunately, he's taken as well, not in the sickness and health type of way, but he still has a girlfriend, and I hear she's a sweatheart also. What is with these Staal boys and nice girlfriends? One of my favorite things to do is make fun of hockey players' girlfriends, and now I can't even do that. What is the world coming to? Anyway, speaking of Lord Stanley, sorry I couldn't make a post for that, I was just so completely speechless. It was the best day of my life. I swear. I still can't discuss it without getting excited. Follow this link though, this is my friend Gabby's blog, and it's like my life. Well, it was, before I got this thing here. http://underdogobsession.wordpress.com/category/lord-stanley/
This picture just makes my life even more. You'll come to notice that a lot of things make my life. I also want a lot of things to be engraved on the loonie someday. That was kind of the point of this blog in the first place...



That's Eric. Isn't that just the cutest thing you've ever seen? I wish I was the Stanley Cup. I really really do. Do you know how many hot hockey players kiss that thing? Damn strait.
This is just to end this wonderful post. It's probably my favorite saying of all time.

Sorry


Okay, just so you people know, I'm a bit of a blogging virgin, so I haven't really gotten all the kinks on this blog thing worked out. I'm don't exactly know what I'm doing. I guess I'm just apologizing for all the mistakes I've made so far, and for the mistakes I know I'll make in the future. So, sorry.

Adam Burish, I love you

This video made my life today. Adam Burish, I love you. You're name may sound somewhat like an indian burrito, but really, we love you anyway. The Adam doesn't come without the Burish, just like the Burish doesn't come without the Adam. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Okay I'm done. Watch the video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfgUirb8WvI&NR=1
Follow the link. Do it. Go. Now. Also, follow this one, and watch all the blackhawks videos. They're hilarious. The Hawks make my life. They all ought to be engraved on the loonie someday.
http://blackhawks.nhl.tv/team/console.jsp?catid=894

Friday, June 12, 2009

To Break The Ice

Tomorrow is game seven. Yes, Dan Bylsma and his minions stepped it up for game six, and the Cup is still up for grabs. Not for long, though. I have nothing to say about the game that will be, except for the fact that it's going to be the greatest game ever witnessed from a square box. I can feel it in my bones. I have canceled many plans to watch this game, and I will not be disappointed again, like in game 5. There will not be a repeat. It cannot be done. It will not be done. I love it when Geno looks this happy, let's make it happen again.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Karma's a bitch


The first day of my new blog and the only thing on my mind to write about is the heart-breaking event that was game five. Lord Stanley would be ashamed.

Five zip. How often do you get to hear that mid-finals of the Stanley Cup Playoffs? Flower, I mean really, three on your glove-side? And one in the 5 hole? I understand the blocker goal, but I blame Dan Bylsma for not benching you earlier. I love you man, but you were awful last night.
Maxime Talbot makes my life. If it weren't for him, I would have turned off the t.v right after the second. Pavel Datsyuk's first game back after a broken foot, and what does Maxy do? Skates right on over to him and gives him a big whack right on the foot. Ouch. Unfourtunately, it didn't do much for us, giving the Wings a two-man advantage with Crosby already in the box, and causing another goal on Fleury, but what the hell? Might as well give the media something to talk about. Datsyuk doesn't deserve to be on that ice, after missing the entire series. His hesitation looked to be house-league worthy.

Still, Pens, seriously, you've gotta step it up. Geno, stick to the puck. It's your spaghetti. Breakfast, lunch and dinner, bud. Don't let the cripple scare you. Pretend every single person in that crowd is Mama Malkin. Make her proud.

Also, Crosby, Zetterberg is supposed to be shadowing you, not the other way around. I know I have absolutely no right at all the judge you, because I have nothing but respect for you, but you're their captain. Their leader. If you were to jump of a bridge into a mile-deep pile of shit, the rest of the Pens would follow your sorry golden ass into that shithole. No joke. If you lose your momentum, there's no way we're gonna make it all the way.

Do it for Mario and the kids. They've housed you, man. They took you in when no one else would and you needed love and care. Do it for Colby Armstrong. Even though he's long gone now, he still believes in you, and was your roomate and told the press all of your embarrassing secrets. Do it for Geno. The only three syllable words he knows how to say are 'spaghetti' and 'atmosphere'. He's been working so hard to learn this alien language will Sergei Gonchar's little girl, and we're all so proud of him. If you were to look up the definition of 'perserverence' in the Russian-English dictionnary, you would find Geno. Do it for Jordan Eberle. He saved Canada in the very last seconds of our remaining dignity, when the most dedicated of canadian fans had lost all hope and were beginning to turn off the television or radio. Do it for all of Canada. We believe in you, Sid. Represent.

By the way, Max, your beard makes you look like a hobo.