A Beautiful Disaster, Put Quite Simply

I feel like I haven't talked about Kris Letang for a very long time. Our relationship went through a bit of a bad patch when they were playing the Habs for the rights to Lord Stanley's name, but things are all okay now. The problem is, he hasn't been doing anything interesting. He isn't in any relationships (that we know of), he isn't making any statements of trade to the media, he isn't beating up any civilians for small amounts of money, he isn't singing remixed rap songs in front of the entire city of Chicago, he isn't taking his clothes of in limos while intoxicated, he isn't scoring any last-second goals or saving his country from a fall of tremendous proportions, and his hair is not growing back quick enough.

Kris Letang, for all our sakes, do something worth talking about.

Who's Line Was It, Anyway?

This has been some week so far. A week that, unfortunately, I'd much rather forget. So, to take my mind off of:

• the fact that the Habs just lost 3-0 to Philly in game two of the series
• the fact that in two games, they've had 9 goals against and ZERO goals for
• the fact that Leighton, who just happens to be Philedelphia's third string goalie, is completely schooling us
• the fact that Leighton used to be a benchwarmer for Montreal only 25 months ago
• the fact that Halak let in a shot that a peewee house-league goalie probably could've stopped without much trouble
• the fact that the Habs might end their amazing playoffs run here, beating out the two best teams in their pool only to lose to Philedelphia
• the fact that the Habs have begun to burry themselves into an incredibly deep hole that will take all the desire that they're currently lacking to dig themselves out of

...I'm turning to a certain someone for a little but of light humor. Kris Letang, thank you for covering your entire left arm with tatoos. You've given us so much joy and happiness.

He says the top portion of the tatoo is dedicated to his grandmother, and the bottom part is for Luc Bourdon, his best friend who died in a motorcycle accident in 2008. You might remember me telling you about him a little while back. Apparently, Luc was an avid guitarist, hence the tatoo of the guitar on Kris' newly renovated bicep.

I don't know about you, but I don't mind tatoos. In fact, I rather do like them. I think they're incredibly sexy. Kris Letang wears them well. I think the Pens should all get matching tats. A bunch of them already have some already; Max Talbot, Pascal Dupuis, former Penguin Ryan Malone, and now Kris. I'm sure Sidney also has an embarrassing tatoo hidden somewhere.

Enjoy the video: Ptit diner avec mon ami Kris Letang chez Olive et Gourmando

At least we have hope for Chicago. Patrick Kane's mullet is magic.

...Habs in 6?

**Thanks to Micaela for informing me on this subject. Thanks as well to Hockey for the Ladies, although I didn't ask your permission. Please try not to get angry with me**

Stud

This is the conversation I just had with my sister while watching the third period of the Habs-Pens game:

Me: Look, PK Subban.

Sister: He's stick-handling with one hand.

Me: He would do that.

Sister: What a stud.

First Commentator: And Sidney Crosby is now without a stick.

Second Commentator: That's never good, he's the best player in the world.

First Commentator: Jordan Staal decides to give his stick to Sidney Crosby, he's saying "Here, take my stick, you're a lot more talented than I am."

Second Commentator: Yup.

Me: That wasn't very nice.

First Commentator: Sidney Crosby gives it back to Kris Letang.

Sister: Oop, Letang almost just scored on his own net again.

We Have An Overpopulation On This Small Small World

Today was Roberto Luongo's birthday. Happy 31st, Bobby-Lu. Jesus Christ, you are much older than I thought you were. You've only got a few years left in you. Use them well, Loooooou. Win a Stanley Cup, how about. Wait, no. Not this year. This year it's time for Washington, and then the year after that Chicago will make it's run, and then the Pens will take it again. But the year after that, kay? You can hold on that long, can't you?

Pascal Dupuis is also turning 31 on Wednesday. Remember, he's the one for Pittsburgh who has permanent mascara and waxed and perfectly plucked eyebrows? At least he takes care of himself. He's having a good year though, and he wears the Rocket's number, so we respect him. He also plays for the Pens. So we love him for that.

We also love that he has twin dogs and an extremely sculpted torso. And that he's a father, and buys super cool swingsets for his kids. And that he got a tatoo to commemorate Lord Stanley. Well done, Pascal.

Brian Elliott and Alex Ponikarovsky have their birthdays on the Friday, turning 25 and and 30 respectively. Elliot, or 'Ernie' as da Sens call him, has held Ottawa (home of the Fat Cats) on his back ever since Pascal Leclaire completely flopped his role. We will be in the playoffs thanks to him. And Ponikarovsky used to be a Maple Laugh. Now he's a Penguin. He is liked much better now.

Sean Avery (!!!) and Dion Phaneuf are celbrating the day after that. Avery is congratulated on surviving 30 years on this planet, and, more impressive yet, 10 seasons in the NHL. He is known around the league as an agitator, and a pest. He is annoying and unsportsmanlike and hated by 66.4% of all the players in the NHL, but, for some strange reason, I like him. Don't ask me why.

BUT I will say that it's funny that he has the same birthday as Dion Phaneuf (turning 25), who was one of the victims of Avery's well-known 'sloppy seconds' comment. When Sean Avery made the comment before a game against the Flames, Phaneuf's team at the time, Phaneuf was dating Avery's ex-girlfriend, Elisha Cuthbert. Which is cool. I like how things like this link together.

And we all remember Avery's "distraction tactic" against Brodeur. Oh, Sean. There's just something about you. I don't want to love you. And yet I do. I can't help it. I hate everything about you. But I just can't help loving you.

SERGEI GONCHAR'S BIRTHDAY IS ON APRIL 13TH. WOOOOOOOOOO. He's turning 36. Now that, if you've been paying any attention, is old. Poor Serge. I hope he doesn't get traded. His contract ends after this season, and there's been some talk about a trade. It's some sort of money thing. But the Pens just don't understand. They need him. Screw the money. He is a leader. He is wise, and experienced, and loyal, and wonderful, and amazing, and adorable. I'm sure the forwards will be fine without him, but what of the D? He is a leader amongst those men. What will become of Kris LeSwoon is Gonch leaves? He'll crash and burn, I tell you. But he won't be alone. Geno (love) will go down with him. He's not grown enough yet to handle this cruel world all on his own. Help him, Sergei. Evgeni needs you.

Aww, right? Don't destroy this love.

Mickey Renaud and Luc Bourdon

Hey guys. I was just reminded a little while ago about Mickey Renaud, and I can't really seem to get it out of my head. If you haven't heard of him, here's a blog that'll tell you a little bit about it...it's also shaping up to be a really great story about our future canadian hockey phenom, Taylor Hall: http://sleepingsickness4.blogspot.com/

I want to dedicate a little piece of this blog to Mickey Renaud, and also to Luc Bourdon. Luc won gold for team Canada in the 2007 World Juniors, and was a Vancouver Canucks prospect. He was killed in a motorcycle accident involving a tractor trailer in 2008. He was 21 years old. He was also Kris Letang's best friend.

Kris Letang: Beautiful Disaster

Hey guys.

I am currently in a very sad and depressed mood because I recently recieved some terrible news that has absolutely nothing to do with anything I talk about on here, so I'm not going to bore you with it. But I was looking at videos on youtube to make me feel better, and I found this one. It pretty much describes how I'm feeling to the tee, and it's amazingly accurate about Kris. So, here it is: Kris Letang; Beautiful Disaster.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVj_ShkJTQQ

ZOMG

Guys, big big big news!

First of all, Grey's Anatomy tomorrow night! Yay! I cannot get over my obsession for that show.

Second, and more importantly, the Pens are in town! They're playing Ottawa tomorrow night, and that means that they flew in today. Can you imagine? Geno is probably begging Gonch to drive him to Fratellis at this exact moment so he can load up on the best Spaghetti in town before the game tomorrow. Jordan Staal is probably planning a sneeky date with one of the Ottawian puckbunnies that he has on speed dial in case of emergency. Because it's true, all hockey players do cheat. Even if they're in love. Kris is probably beginning his pre-game day ritual by combing his gorgeous Sex Hair exactly 100 times. Soon he will remember that he can no longer do that, because he chopped it all off and there is nothing left. But I'm not bitter. Sid is probably sitting cross-legged on the floor of his hotel room repetedly chanting his always faithful maintra: "I am The Next One. Mario will always have my back. I will not cry at the game tomorrow. Colby still thinks of me as much as I think of him. I will show absolutely no emotion in any of my interviews. Ovechkin is a loser. I will not cry at the game tomorrow." And Max...well, Max is probably crying over the fact that he still can't play and filling the empty hole where hockey usually is by banging every chick in town.

On a happier note, tomorrow is also Patrick Kane's birthday! Happy 21st, Pat! Underdog Obsessed will buy you a beer for me, since I will be kind of busy that night watching Pittsburgh kick Ottawa's loser asses.

Oh, and one more thing. Siddo hoisted the Olympic Flame today. Well, he ran, while hoisting it. It was pretty epical. We were all really excited for him. All the videos were pretty crappy, so I didn't wanna disgrace the dignity of this blog by putting them up here, but you're welcome to go on youtube and search for them yourself. I'd turn your volume on low; the sirens are crazy loud.

Thursday is gonna be a big day.