Thumbs Up For The Youngins

Yes. Hello. I'm back. Did you miss me? Of course you did.

I watched a Sudbury Wolves Bantam AAA game today on tv. It was exciting for 4 reasons:

Reason #1: Tie Domi's son, Max Domi, was playing for that team. He is 15 years old, and is a major prospect to be a future NHL superstar. His playing style is almost the complete opposite of that of his father's, but he has the same body type: short and big. If the Hockey Gods give you that kind of body, you have two options: -Option #1: You become a thug, of the hockey playing variety of course, only brought out onto the ice on the occassion of knocking someone else's (or your own) teeth out. -Option #2: You become Sidney Crosby.
Thankfully, young Max Domi has chosen the most desirable path, yet much more difficult to attain. Our Sid is his role model, see. He shapes his game after him. Some loftly goals, I'd say.

Reason #2: Todd Bertuzzi's nephew was playing for the opposing team. Small world, eh? Indeed. Imagine being related to Todd Bertuzzi though on the eve of his near-deathening hit on that guy who I don't quite remember the name of. Remember, the one that like broken his back or something and made him never able to play in the NHL ever again? Yeah, imagine being related to Bertuzzi when that happened. "Son...I have some news about your uncle." Baha. Geez. Poor kid. He was pretty damn good, though. Had 3 goals and 3 assists going for him already in that tournament.

Reason #3: Marc Staal used to play for the Sudbury Wolves. So did Jared Staal. This is a very special team in my heart. The lucky bastards. Imagine an NHL team getting two Staal brothers. Wow. Major hearthrob marathon.

Reason #4: There used to be four reasons. Now I've kind of forgotten what we're talking about. So, for now, there shall only be three. But I will come up with a fourth. I promise you this. I will remeber.

IMOW: E Staal

This has been the longest period of time I've ever been so close to Eric Staal.



I'm starting to build a greater appreciation for him. Don't worry, Jordan's still my favorite, but Eric is ranking pretty high at the moment. They show him on tv so much here, it's crazy. They just did an hour-long segment of In My Own Words: Eric Staal. Best. Hour. Of. Life. I swear to god, my eyes did not leave the screen for one minute. He did the entire interview in his own house, and he wasn't wearing any shoes. Or socks. So he was just sitting there, talking to a guy in a suit and dress shoes, with naked feet. I admire him for this, somehow. It shows strength and integrity.

A Staal Update

Greetings from South Carolina.

I got to watch all three Staal brothers play in one day yesterday. This is the first time this has ever happened to me. It was a life changing experience.

Jordan Staal is really hot. I've been noticing this especially lately. It's just the way that his hair is so smooth and wavy, and how his skin seems to stay just the right shade of tan even when he's on the ice. Alex Ponikarovsy's skin does this too. He is also very attractive. He is a wonderful new addition to our Pens. It's amazing that they managed to get him.

Eric Staal is getting too good. It's not right. He is speeding away from his brothers at an extraordinary rate. Its not that I don't want him to be good, really, I do, but it's all just happening too fast. Something happened this year that changed him.

Marc Staal is rapidly falling far behind. He was never truly as skilled as his offensive brothers, but at least he had some defending power. Now, he doesn't really do much. He doesn't connect passes too well, or catch them for that matter. He doesn't score, and he doesn't save goals. He hits people, but not as well as he used to. I blame his girlfriend. Did you know she's a supermodel? I think her name is Kat or something. She's foreign. Foreign and blond.

I miss Jared. He used to be good and full of potential. Now, he's fallen off the map. He no longer lives on the face of this Earth. He lives in...(GASP!) the AHL. Duh Duh DUH. I liked it better when he played on the same team the Marc used to. I feel bad for that team, kind of, though. They got the worst two of the four Staal bros. Unlucky sons of bitches.

Pitt won against Boston and Zdeno, Carolina won against Atlanta and Mr. Armstrong, and the Rangers lost to Buffalo and Tyler Myers. Pauvre, pauvre Marc.

How We Adore Our Fuzzy Little Creatures

The Pens call Pascal Dupuis "Dupper". I just found this out.

The Anatomy of a Girl In a Car

Here's a little fun fact:

Did you know that it takes 18 hours to drive from Ottawa to South Carolina?

I found this out today. I am currently typing this message from highway 95. I am on my way to Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. I will be staying there for two weeks. It will take me two days to drive there, and two days to drive back. Therefore I will be staying there a week and a half. Over a quarter of my trip will be spent in the car.

I'm not complaining. I've been spending the past 8 and 1/2 hours discovering the hidden wonders of this incredible journey that I am making. During the time I've spent in the car so far, I've traveled closer to more hockey playing towns than I've been in my whole life. Let me take you throught it.

I left Ottawa and traveled towards Toronto. That was nothing new for me, considering I spent almost every weekend of my life in Toronto ever since I started playing hockey. However, this was the first time I'd been there since Dion Phaneuf and Jiggy Giguere were traded to the Leafs, and it made me feel kind of special to know I was so close to some guys who probably hated being there almost as much as I did.

After leaving the painfully trafficked streets of 6:00 a.m Toronto we skimmed near Buffalo, and I waved in the direction of Tyler Myers from my caged confiment of the highway. I don't think he was even there, but I believe he appreciated the gesture. He knows I care. Well, he knows I exist, which is more than I can say for some of the other people I waved at later on in this trip.

Hours later, I managed to wake up from my slumber just in time to catch a glimpse of the "Welcome to Pennsylvania" sign. This, I have to say, was a defining moment in my life. I was not aware that we would be passing through PA. I was not aware that I would passing next to Pittsburgh, but, I have to say, I do not regret it. I do not regret it one bit.

Now, I went to a Sens-Flyers game not too long ago, so my treak next to Philedelphia was not much of a big deal for me. It was slightly cool passing near the actually houses of the players, but I was tempted to ask my father to detour so I could through eggs at Chris Pronger's humble abode.

I mentioned I did not regret passing through Pennsylvania. This is true. What I do regret, however, was having to see the sign on the highway telling us to keep right in order to enter Pittsburgh. Also, having to watch as the sign slowly dissapeared into the mist as my father, my mother, my sister and I, unfortunately, kept left. I saw the fork in the road that could have made all the difference in my life. We had the choice. The choice to go left, or right. Left, leading us to our intended destination of South Carolina, excrutiatingly close to one of the most beloved brothers of all time, or right, leading me to what could have changed my life forever. I begged my father to take the right. I begged him. Unfourtunately, my father is not susceptible to bribery.

And now, here I sit. Momentarily, we are passing Washington. I am too distraught to care. They probably aren't even here. They're probably off kicking some team's ass. Cause that's how bauss they are. That's right. I just used bauss on the internet.

Oh, they are here. I've just found this out. I am a little more excited now.

You know what makes me sad? The Sens were actually in Carolina when I was in Ottawa, and they were traveling back to Ottawa when I am currently traveling to Carolina now. It's like we swapped. And it's kind of cool to think that if I had taken the goddamn plane instead of spending 18 hours cramped up in this honest-to-God Volvo, I might've met them at the airport. Yeah. That is a cool thought. But I don't like taking airplanes. Being in the air makes me angry.

I've decided to tell you this today because I am bored. I have nothing else to do. And now my computer's about to run out of battery. So I have to go now. Leave me to suffer on my own. I don't care. Here's a funny picture.

Yes. Yes, that is funny. If you don't get it you're a ho. Here's another.

This one was not as funny. But I'm bored. So take a third one.

That was a little innapropriate. I will admit. But I don't care. I get mean when I've been stuck in a car for a day and half straight.

6 hours to go.