Sunday, August 30, 2009
The Second Birthday
Alright, my first birthday on this blog was Jared Staal's, and I think it's only fitting that my second should be the next youngest brother, a certain Mr. Jordan Staal. His birthday just happens to be 11 days from today; coincidentaly, his jersey number. He is turning 21, which is going to make him an official legal drinker in the US. Yay. It was a pretty big deal over here in Canada when he turned 19, because he had his *cough* first beer ever. It must be tough for him with all the clubs the pens go to to sneek beers in when the paparatzi aren't watching.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Freaky
Okay, you know the Mona Lisa? That famous painting? Yeah, well you know how her eyes are supposed to like follow you everywhere you go? And no one understand how that works? And it's really freaky and scary and creepy and stuff? Alright, well I think I may have found another Mona Lisa, except this time it's in the form of our recent Stanley Cup champion captain. Before you tell me I'm wrong, just look at this picture. Just do it. And, like, move around.
Creepy, right?
Creepy, right?
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Happy Birthday Jared!
Alright, I know I'm a bit late, but I'd like to wish a belated happy birthday to Mr. Jared Staal! He just turned 19 yesterday, which makes him officially legal, in Canada that is. I want to buy him a beer. But I'm sure his brothers took care of that for me. Not that he hasn't been drinking for years already, but you can't blame him. His older brothers haven't exactly been the greatest role models for him, I mean Jordan got arrested for underaged drinking and Eric spent a night in jail for like misorderly conduct or something against a police officer...I dunno. I'm getting off track. So, without further adue, I'd like to wish Jared a very very very special birthday.
Can't Wait
All this waiting around for hockey is KILLING me. Like, I'm only days away from dying. I turn on Sportscenter and squeal, actually squeal, everytime I see a clip of hockey. This isn't healthy. Training camps, start already, so we can get a move on a begin the wonderful time-period that is the NHL. For me, there isn't any Summer, Winter, Fall, and Spring crap. There are only two seasons: the hockey season, and the off-season. I hate the off-season. With a burning passion.
Summer Scandals
Sorry it's been so long since I've posted, there's just nothing really that's been going on lately that I'm interested in writing about. So far, only two moderately interesting things have happened this summer: the Heatly scandal, and the Patrick Kane scandal.
I'll begin first explaining why I haven't figured it necessary to talk about our current least favorite Kelowna occupant. Heatly is a douchebag, as I'm sure you already know. He doesn't backcheck, pass, play hard in the offensive zone, and, despite his size, can't throw a bodycheck. He throws muffins, like Sidney Crosby. The only difference is that Sid actually has a work ethic, and actually cares about his fans, his team and his organization. In other words, Heater macks off of his teammates and gets all the credit. He stands in the offensive zone and watches while Spezza and Alfie and all his other linemates work their asses off, waits for a perfect pass and bangs in the slap shot. The only things he is exceptionally good at are shooting, and standing still. I don't think I've ever seen him skate the length of the ice. Well, that's a bit of an exageration, but you know what I mean.
I haven't talked about Dany Heatly's trade request from the Sens because he is a selfish son of a bitch who doesn't care about anyone but himself. Listen for yourself: http://www.nhl.com/ice/podcastplayer.htm?pid=207&iid=14996
He is emotionless. He is saying he cares, but his tone of voice contradicts him. That's all I'm saying. I never really liked Heater; Spezz would get blamed every time something went wrong, even if it wasn't his fault, and wouldn't get the credit for all the goals he gave his linemate. This trade request was just icing on the cake for me.
Alright, now for our old Rookie of the Year. Patty Kane, I'm not gonna say much about what you did. You were drunk, you were stupid. You make millions of dollars a year, no need for a dispute with a criminal cabbie over a mere 20 cents. But you know that. I know you know that, and I know you're truly sorry about it. Unlike Dany, we can really hear the regret and sincereness in your voice. You told my friend that you only held the cab driver's head while your cousin punched him. That's still bad, don't get me wrong, but not jail-time worthy. If you continue to look cute and plea to court, I'm sure they won't press charges. Just keep fighting Pat, we're all supporting you.
I'll begin first explaining why I haven't figured it necessary to talk about our current least favorite Kelowna occupant. Heatly is a douchebag, as I'm sure you already know. He doesn't backcheck, pass, play hard in the offensive zone, and, despite his size, can't throw a bodycheck. He throws muffins, like Sidney Crosby. The only difference is that Sid actually has a work ethic, and actually cares about his fans, his team and his organization. In other words, Heater macks off of his teammates and gets all the credit. He stands in the offensive zone and watches while Spezza and Alfie and all his other linemates work their asses off, waits for a perfect pass and bangs in the slap shot. The only things he is exceptionally good at are shooting, and standing still. I don't think I've ever seen him skate the length of the ice. Well, that's a bit of an exageration, but you know what I mean.
I haven't talked about Dany Heatly's trade request from the Sens because he is a selfish son of a bitch who doesn't care about anyone but himself. Listen for yourself: http://www.nhl.com/ice/podcastplayer.htm?pid=207&iid=14996
He is emotionless. He is saying he cares, but his tone of voice contradicts him. That's all I'm saying. I never really liked Heater; Spezz would get blamed every time something went wrong, even if it wasn't his fault, and wouldn't get the credit for all the goals he gave his linemate. This trade request was just icing on the cake for me.
Alright, now for our old Rookie of the Year. Patty Kane, I'm not gonna say much about what you did. You were drunk, you were stupid. You make millions of dollars a year, no need for a dispute with a criminal cabbie over a mere 20 cents. But you know that. I know you know that, and I know you're truly sorry about it. Unlike Dany, we can really hear the regret and sincereness in your voice. You told my friend that you only held the cab driver's head while your cousin punched him. That's still bad, don't get me wrong, but not jail-time worthy. If you continue to look cute and plea to court, I'm sure they won't press charges. Just keep fighting Pat, we're all supporting you.
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