oh.my.god.

I can't even believe I found these. These videos will change your life. I am in awe.
Road to the Winter Classic
Highlight: First 10 minutes; Pens naked in the locker room and Ovechkin in a speedo.

The full version of the second video is on youtube, 50 mins.

Here's another funny one, Max being a weirdo.
Max/Sid interview Winter Classic

Sick Commercial

Countdown until Sid and Ovie face off at the Winter Classic: 1 day.
Sick Commercial
YEEEAH BABAYY.

Baby Baby Baby OH

Crosby's streak ended last night. If this were written in paper you would see tear drops smudging the ink.

It lasted 25 games, which is like, INSANE! But it ended against the Islanders, which is like, not so much. Did anyone catch a glimpse of his dirt-stache? He's been sportin' that baby since the beginning of his point scoring streak. Also, DID YOU KNOW: he texted the exact same person the exact same text message after every single game of his streak? I found that out from one of my close TSN sports analysists, D.D. It's supposed to be some sort of suppersticious thing, I don't know. Guess that's the end of Sid's MOUSTACHE for now. So sad.

On another note, HAS ANYONE BEEN WATCHING THE WORLD JUNIORS LATELY?! I have. And Canada, by the way, is rippin' it uppppppp. Two games, two blowouts. They were supposed to be a major underdog this year, behind like USA, Russia, Sweden...all that shit. But we haven't seen that so far. They played Russia their first game and it was supposed to be uberclose but Canada killed 'em. And then against Norway. And they scored 6 goals in the first period. And pretty sure their coach told them to let up a bit after that, because they only scored 3 goals in the remaining two periods.

And can I just say, even though I hardly know anyone on this new team with the exception of Capitaine Ellis, how hot is this new team? I mean, are you kidding? First of all, can I just make a Sens reference here? Nick Foligno. Has anyone seen his face? I'll show you.

Eeeeeshk. But God. His brother, Marcus, is legit, from like a fucking different family.
I mean, c'mon. Do you see any resemblance there whatsoever? I do not. And, plus, they played for different countries. Nick, in the World Juniors, played for USA, and Marcus, clearly, plays for CANADA. I think they were born in the US but grew up in like Sudbury or some shit. But there's a story behind this one, apparently, before their mom died a few years ago, she asked Marcus to play for Canada, because she was canadian. So he did. In an interview, he said he's playing for his mom. Isn't that heart-touching?

So, we've got the one. Loonie Engraved is cheering for Marcus Foligno because he's doing it for his mom. We're also cheering for some guy named BRAYDEN SCHENN, because he looks like this:

...and also because of this video: Nike BOOM

EH, OH, CANADA...oh foget it.

"Maybe you shouldn't drink so much on an empty stomach." ..."Maybe you should wear makeup if you're gonna act like my mother."

Pittsburgh streak is still going.
Patrick Kane is out for 3 weeks + for a lower body leg/ankle/idontreallyknow injury.
Alex Ovechkin is virtually non-existant.
My hockey pool sucks because my two best players are a) out for 3 weeks with a lower body injury or b) virtually non-existant. My father got first pick and inevitably chose Sidney Crosby. My mother, having the second pick, instead of opting for the next best player on the list, the Great Eight, chose Dany Heatley. She doesn't know who he is. She doesn't know a thing about hockey. Sad thing is, she's beating me. I'm actually the loser out of all four members of my family at the moment. I got last pick, so I gues it's only natural that I should be lagging behind. Wondering, perhaps, being fourth to pick, how I ended up with the most talented player in the league? My sister has tremendous faith in her heroes. She picked Steven Stamkos. She is currently in second place, mere inches behind my Sid the Kid lead father. And my lonely Alex Ovechkin captained fantasy hockey team is stuck in last, dwindling in the ever-present fear of retribution :) NO ONE LEAVES MY TEQUILA WORM DANGLING IN THE WIND! -Antonio Banderas

Of A Hustla, ofaofa Hustla

So. News. Billy Guerin retired.

WHAT?!

Bill Guerin? No! This is so sad. I hate when people retire. I have a feeling that a BUNCH of our favorites (ie, Alfy, Brodeur, Gonch, etc.) are gonna leave us soon. I don't want that to happen. I'm in denial. Me and the Hockey Gods, we have a deal, see. No one is gonna grow older. Everyone is going to stay the exact same age they are, and they're just gonna keep playing for ever and ever. Well, everyone except me. The pros are gonna halt while I'm gonna shoot up in anticipation of the age when I'll actually be able to say 'I want you' without it being illegal. Oh, how I yearn for those years.

On other news, Sid da Kid is ramping up the points, so far he has 24 goals and 24 assists, for 48 points, en route for another 50+ goal season, and yet another 100+ point season. 9 goals is 5 games, 6 in three games. He got a hattrick in his past two games at home. He has a 16 game scoring streak (18 goals, 15 assists). The Pens are going for an 11 game winning streak.

Dude. I feel like we need a slow mo Sid Crosby moment right now.

Ah, and there's Max. I miss him. I also miss Geno. Wanna see something that reminds me of Geno? K, just picture it with his peanut butter accent. Ready?

Harley-Davidson

Life is too short. It's too short to do anything about it. So do what you want. Thanks, Mark Patterson.