I Haven't Quite Adapted to the Time Change

Sooooooooo. HELLO FAMILY! I was in France. Playing rugby. NBD. But anyway. I'm back now. Back to reality. And in reality I find out that

a) Ovechkin is injured due to "bumps and bruises"

b) Alfie was a scratch for the Sens vs Caps game tonight (along with Mike Green, Jason Arnott, Sergei Gonchar, Matt Carkner & others)

c) Sidney Crosby had a vigorous 45 min workout today (the longest since his concussion), of which the videos have been playing regularly on sportsnet

d) Jason Spezza is consistently balding

Three out of the four I don't like. I'll leave it up to you to decide which ones. By the way, I'm not some creeper who has like a weird fetish for old balding guys. If I had a fetish for anything, I'd say it would be necks. I really like the backs of people's necks. Don't publish that, it was embarrassing. In retrospect, I should probably have deleted it, but I'm not one to live in the past. Anyway.

These are the first things I found out about hockey the moment I stepped off the plane. I learned more interesting things after that. And more important things. Like, um, hello, Jesse Winchester likes eating steaks, listening to country music and watching the Discovery Channel. AND, he likes history. Hello soulmate. Do you hear the bells? (I also watched Hairspray today AND 17 Again, I'm like on a Zac Efron high)

Also, when you're at a Washington Capitals game in Ottawa and half the seats are empty and Ovie's a scratch and so is Green and those were the two people you brought the tickets to actually see, I found out that a certain Mr. Alexander Semin catches the eye, especially when he and Backstrom are the only ones on the team warming up without helmets on. I believe I told my dad numerous times throughout those twenty-odd minutes to "for the love of GOD look at how feathery his hair is". Not lying. I flows when he skates, and bounds likes lords a leapin' when he shoots. Love it. Sex hair? Not quite up to the standards of Tangers, but I think so.

Playoff Mullets

**The video that'll start playing when you open the link is not the one intended for you to see. The one you'll laugh at until you puke is the video above it**

First step: Watch this video.

Second step: Watch the video again.

Third step: Show your friends.

Fourth step: When they don't laugh with you, take the computer away from them.

Fifth step: Watch the video for a third time by yourself.

Sixth step: Shake your head in pity and amusement.

Seventh step: Realize that this is why we love the Blackhawks so much.

ZOMG

Guys, big big big news!

First of all, Grey's Anatomy tomorrow night! Yay! I cannot get over my obsession for that show.

Second, and more importantly, the Pens are in town! They're playing Ottawa tomorrow night, and that means that they flew in today. Can you imagine? Geno is probably begging Gonch to drive him to Fratellis at this exact moment so he can load up on the best Spaghetti in town before the game tomorrow. Jordan Staal is probably planning a sneeky date with one of the Ottawian puckbunnies that he has on speed dial in case of emergency. Because it's true, all hockey players do cheat. Even if they're in love. Kris is probably beginning his pre-game day ritual by combing his gorgeous Sex Hair exactly 100 times. Soon he will remember that he can no longer do that, because he chopped it all off and there is nothing left. But I'm not bitter. Sid is probably sitting cross-legged on the floor of his hotel room repetedly chanting his always faithful maintra: "I am The Next One. Mario will always have my back. I will not cry at the game tomorrow. Colby still thinks of me as much as I think of him. I will show absolutely no emotion in any of my interviews. Ovechkin is a loser. I will not cry at the game tomorrow." And Max...well, Max is probably crying over the fact that he still can't play and filling the empty hole where hockey usually is by banging every chick in town.

On a happier note, tomorrow is also Patrick Kane's birthday! Happy 21st, Pat! Underdog Obsessed will buy you a beer for me, since I will be kind of busy that night watching Pittsburgh kick Ottawa's loser asses.

Oh, and one more thing. Siddo hoisted the Olympic Flame today. Well, he ran, while hoisting it. It was pretty epical. We were all really excited for him. All the videos were pretty crappy, so I didn't wanna disgrace the dignity of this blog by putting them up here, but you're welcome to go on youtube and search for them yourself. I'd turn your volume on low; the sirens are crazy loud.

Thursday is gonna be a big day.