Wait...WHAT?!

Today, I was leasurely browsing through some Hawks blogs when I came across some...rather frightening news. Uh, here it is.

Patrick Sharp got married.

Yeah. Now, here's the reaction I'm sure you've been waiting for. Ahem.

Um, WTF?! WHY THE HELL WOULD HE GET MARRIED???!!!! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE WAS IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP! I MEAN, I KNEW HE WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP (her name is Abby Banever, she's a blonde, obvi, I mean it's Patty) BUT STILL, IT'S SHARPIE! HE'S A PLAYER, HE DOESN'T GET MARRIED!! THEY CALL HIM THE UTERUS KILLER!! OH DEAR LORD HE'S MARRIED. PATRICK SHARP IS MARRIED, PATRICK SHARP IS OFF THE MARKET. Dear God, this is tragic, this is just horrible. I can't even believe this.

Right, okay, now that we've covered that, some other marriage news that might come as a bit of a shocker, but for a bit of a different reason.

Marian Hossa, yeah, remember him? He got married too. ROFLCOPTER. I know, right?! Laughing out loud right now. Who the fuck would marry him? His name is Marian. And on top of that, he like, loses Stanley Cups. Well, I guess not anymore. But God. Who in their right mind would marry Marian Hossa, seriously. This woman's got issues.

At least she's got legit un-blonde hair though. Not that I have a problem with blondes. I mean, they do have more fun. But I thoroughly enjoy it when hockey players take the high-road and actually do something different than the stereotype for once. I hate stereotypes. Can't work 'em.

Hossa you're a dork. We all mourn for Patty Sharp.

Another Shot

Younger Versteeg

Hopefully the Hawks will hold on to this one, we've already lost one Verbeauty. And from the article, I feel as though we lost the better one, both talent-wise and in personality. Ah, well. You can only stay angry for so long. I just feel bad for people like Kaner and Toews and Sharpie who are still on that sorry team. Chicago is a lost cause, and their careers are plummeting right down with them. Hopefully the organisation will smarten before they lose the rest of their stars.

And no, I do not feel bad for Hossa. He has not earned my sympathy.

Burish vs Pronger

So, what you gotta do, is first you gotta watch this video.

Adam Burish About Chris Pronger

And then you gotta watch this video.

Chris Pronger about Adam Burish


Now I think you should know that I'm fully impartial to this. I have both of their autographs so they're equal to me. But I'm tacking in your tallies. Who do you think have a more legit response? Who do you think owned who harder? Who do you think embarrassed themselves the most? This is some intense beef we got going on here, folks. This is Burish vs Pronger. I'm tacking your tallies. Your comments will be registered.

Here's a third video, you will laugh your pants off, guaranteed. Notice Soupy singing along with Verbeauty in the background. Notice Kaner lower his un-mulleted head in shame. Notice how he makes references to two of his cyberspace failures in one quote, referring to both the limo incident and the cab incident. Also, notice at the end yet another snidbit of the same fight we saw earlier. And remember why we love these boys so much. We do. We really, really do.

Stanley Cup Parade

Just Me Thinking

I was thinking about making a post about nicknames. You wouldn't believe some of the things these guys come up with. Did you know the Hawks named Patrick Sharp "Uterus Killer"? That's really funny. Also, I might do a beauty pageant...I'm trying to think of what team to do, I might even do Baby Canada 2009, because someone won't just do it themselves...

Just a heads up. If you have any other ideas or things that you want me to do, don't hesitate to tell me. Comments are appreciated!