LMFAO

BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLTEEHHEEHELMFAO

Kovalchuk had finally settled down.

HAHAHAHAHAHATEHEHEHEEEEROFLROFLROOOFLROOFFFLLLL

Ohmygoodness. This is the best thing that's happened all summer. Everytime I think about it I just burst into uncontrolled fits of laughter. Remember how Ilya Kovalchuk finally picked a team and signed a deal? Remember how the deal was for 102 million over 17 years? Haha. Well, Ilya's all happy and settled, and the Devils all breathed in a huge sigh of relief. Thank God, we got him. This long wait of tremendous suspense has finally come to an end.

And then the NHL pops in and says, "No, you can't do that."

BAJHAHHAHAHHAROFLROFLFRRLOOOOORLFFFORLFOAHBAHAHAHA

DEAR LORD. Apparently, the deal was in violation of some act or crap. They were like, you can't make a deal like that. And New Jersey was all, I checked the fucking act, and we aren't in violation of it. And then the NHL was like, dude. I make the rules here. I do not agree to this. Kovalchuk, you are now once again a free fucking agent.

And you know what Kovalchuk's agent issued out onto the site today as his opinions on the matter?

"No comment."

BAHAHAHKTEEEEALKFROALFORALALRRORLAALLAHAHFAHAHAHR

Shame On You, Ottawa Boo-Birds, Unhappy Spezza Doesn't Deserve You

**letter sent in to the citizen soon to come, Kristie Stewart, thank you, thank you so much**

ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL

The Happy Days Gang

Whoever's reading this at the moment is very lucky to currently be a part of Loonie Engraved's first belated birthday! Whooooo!Today, we turn 1 year old and 10 days! Yipee! Have a beer and a party hat on us. And guess who I'm celebrating this wonderous occasion with? A very special man named Hugh Harris, who played one year in the NHL for Buffalo back in '73. He's from Toronto, Ontario, and he's also having his birthday plus 10 days today! So Hugh, if you're reading this right now, and you're still with us, happy belated birthday. And guess who has their actual birthday today? A couple of french twins named Maxime and Michel Ouellet. They're both goalies, and I know for a fact that they're both currently living! So here's a happy birthday to them as well.

Wow, this is such a great day. A guy gave me his phone number at the mall this afternoon. I neglect to inform him of my homosexuality.

Jokes.

Loonies and shit for everyone!!!!