Gotta Get Down

So only a few games left in the regular season before the playoffs and the Senators' much-hyped golfing season. They officially have a spot in the draft draw for the top pick, so they'll have like a 10-20% chance of winning depending on their final placement in the league. The Oilers are officially number 30, which means YAY! 48% chance that they'll win. Not that that really means anything, the draft is always a surprise. Who knows, perhaps Toronto will make a split-second Boston move and trade Phil Kessel to Ottawa for their spot in the draw. Haha.

Daniel Alfredsson isn't going to be returning for this season, apparently his back injury is no laughing matter, according to the Ottawa Citizen. It isn't a surgery-related issue...yet. And also in the paper this morning Alfy and Spezza were included in the best Senators players in their many (19) years in the NHL. So, technically, of all time. That anyone remembers. Technically. Anyway. Also included in the list were Marian Hossa, Wade Redden and Zdeno Chara. Wade Redden doesn't play in the NHL anymore. Chara is currently a hated player around the Canada-area for his hit on Pacioretti. And Hossa...is still Hossa. HO$$A. I dunno. He's one of the only remaining players on the Chicago Blackhawks. And Spezza and Alfredsson still play for Ottawa. Enough said.

Someone asked me the other day if I knew that my title was spelled wrong. I do know. I spell loonie in the french fashion. Loonie isn't even a word in french, however that is my excuse. I find 'ey' too american, don't you? Well excuse me for bringing a little culture to the group. We could all stand to be taken down a peg or two when it comes to preserving our Canadian heritage. I wonder what percentage of my L.E readers are American. Hopefully a healthy dose. I like to think I have a relatively diverse range of peoples around here. I think I lost track of what I was talking about. Wouldn't be the first time, anyway.

SAY WHAT?! part 2

Here's another installment of SAY WHAT?!, a once used segment on Loonie Engraved. But just before we begin, there's something I'd like to say.

"I'm going to make a speech today. Some of you will like it, and some of you will not. But if there's one thing that I've learned over the past year, it's that all of you will applaud."

-Colin Laroche, 2010

*you should know that I didn't make the majority of these, you don't have to blame me*

Lucky 1000

Yowza.
Guess what? I just took a look randomly at my hit count for the first time in months, and guess what I saw?

1000.
I think Alfie's trying to tell me something...

It makes me feel proud to think I was the person who gave my blog it's one thousandth hit. But theres no way it was me who looked at this blog 1000 times. I had some help. From you :)
Love you guys. More than life.

Seriously.

For the Love of God

I just found out that Jesse Winchester, of the Ottawa Senators if you didn't know which you really should, has a really cool nickname. They call him "The Lane Finder". How awesome is that? He isn't even fully on the team, he keeps switching back from Binghamton to Ottawa and back again. That must be tough. It sucks that they make the farm teams so far away from the actual NHL team. Someone should look into that. If not for me, for our good friend Jesse. He isn't even really a part of the team and they still give him a nickname. How great is that? That really shows how loving and caring and giving and recieving and open-minded and greatful and manly and humble and nice the Ottawa Senators are. Hell, they kicked Buffalo's ass the other night without two of their best players! That, ladies and gentlemen, shows depth. The Sens have a depth like you have never seen. If they're missing a big goalscorer, like when Dany Douchebag Heatley ditched during the summer and completely screwed over two NHL franchises, they have people step up to take the plate. Like Mike Fisher. He is having the greatest season of his life, not to mention his new fiance with the million dollar engagement ring. And when the Sens are missing a big hitter, like when Chris Neil was out for a while and we thought all hope was lost, BAM! Matt Carkner. There are even debates now that Matt Carkner could even beat Chris Neil in a cage fight. That's huge! So, when Ottawa lost Jason Spezza, they didn't cry! Well, most of them didn't. You know, I'm not counting myself in all of this. But anyway, they weren't upset because they knew that their team had the depth to make up for their loss and come out on top in any situation. They were on top of the world, they could conquer anything! Well, that was all until that faithful (fateful?) night about a week ago when they got their asses handed to them on a silver plater by the defending Stanley Cup champions. They lost their captain, they lost their dignity, and, worst of all, they lost their hope. There was no hope for their next game that they had to play against the Buffalo Sabres. They didn't have Alfredsson, a fearless leader and an amazing play-maker with a killer shot, and they didn't have Spezza, someone who hasn't really been on his game the past two seasons (something I have and will always to continue to blame on his wife) but a stand-up guy all the same. The poor little Senators didn't know what to do! They were lost and confused; they knew they needed to depend on someone, but who? Not Kovalev...sure, he's a great hockey player; he has amazing hands and a snipe that could rip right through Brian Miller's glove, but he's not dependable. Hell, they needed someone consistent, someone who they could count on to do what was best in the time when it matterd most. Someone, someone like Fisher. Yes, he would be their captain, he would be their leader. He would be the one to lead them into the abiss. Or would he? Would he continue to do what he's been doing all season long? Would he make the passes, take the hits, and rack up the points? Or would he crash and burn? We've seen it happen many-a-time before; you're only hope in the world fail on you in your time of need. Maybe it's all the preasure. You know, it's really hard to funtion when a whole city of caffeine-crazed hockey fans is depending on you. Maybe that's Kovalev's problem. Well, we'll never know for sure, but I have a theory about him. When we're all excited, we're thinking, "Good, we've got Alexei Kovalev, he'll replace Dany Heatley no problem, he'll solve all our problems." That's when things will go wrong! That's when he'll crash and burn! See? When we give up on him completely, when we say, "Jesus Christ, we've made the biggest mistake of our lives, bringing this turd on the team. He can't do shit for anybody!" That's when he'll shine! Don't you guys get it yet? That's why he's so inconsistent! Wow, I'm just one kid and I figured that out. You'd think the greatest hockey minds in the world would be able to figure it out too. I mean, if the game against Buffalo wasn't enough proof for you, I don't know what else to give. Kovalev was amazing that game. He kicked ass. In the "stud" and "dud" report in the newspaper yesterday, he was the stud! Kovalev is a great hockey player, and don't you ever forget it!



Wow, what the hell was I talking about here?

Jason Spezza Goals

Sorry I haven't posted in a while; there have been some things going on.

Jason scored his very first goal of the season a few days back, it was a pretty nice one too. Top corner, less than a minute left in over-time. Good timing, Jay. Also, good timing on your second goal tonight. The shootout winner, stuffed in just beside the pad, off the post, off the goalie's butt and in. Not too pretty, but still a goal.

I think Clouston should stop letting Alfie take the shootouts. Every year Alfie takes them. I can't remember the last time he scored a shootout goal. It makes me sad when I see him skating up after Kovalev scores his goals. That's what Kovalev is handy for. He always scores in shootouts. Spezz usually comes third. He's about 50/50. I think Ryan Shannon should shoot. He's really, really good. He can skate down the length of the ice in about three strides.

I kind of have mixed feelings about when Spezz has a good game. Of course, I want him to play well, I love him, so, naturally, that's how I feel. But I can't help but think that whenever he has a good game, he's gonna get laid. Stupid Jen Snell, messing with my mind. She's probably shagging him right now. See what this is doing to me? Sometimes I wish he would just dump her already. Wait, did I say sometimes? ALWAYS.

The Sens Lost. Again.

The Sens lost again. Ahh, geez. At least it went into shootouts this time. That was cool. You know, I expected Kovalev to score. He has the nicest hands, he should be about to deek around any goalie no problem. But instead, tonight, he chose to shoot at the net from about ten feet away and go wide. Nice thinking, Alexei. KIDDING. I love you. You are a true Habitant. You will return there someday and finish your career there. I know you will. You said so yourself. Haha, you know what would be funny? If the Habs never got him back, and he kept playing until he was like 60, and they'd all be like, "Hey, AK27, why havent you retired yet?" And he'll be all like, "I shall only retire once I have fulfilled my destiny of ending my career with Montreal. Yes, that's right, my destiny. I made it for myself. What are you talking about, of course you can do that. Stupid non-believers. " Yeah, that's what he'll say. And then he'll die playing for some shit team like the Kings who will only take him because they can't afford to get anyone else.

Anyway, I tend to get distracted easily. I was talking about the shootout. Alfie shot second. He did almost the exact same thing as Kovalev did, cept his didn't go wide. He went off the pad. His shot was pretty dang awful, too. It was a wrister, and yet it did not fly. Wierd, eh? At least Kovalev's was off the ice a tad.

Spezza shot third. Yay! That's as peppy as I can be for the moment, after seeing what a crap shot he did. It wasn't even a shot, he just stickhandled and stickhandled and stickhandled in front of the net slowly inching forward, and then gave it to the goalie. He was like, "Here buddy, have a puck. Oh no, you stay put, I'll just give it to you. Here, right up on your pad, there you go. Good job, man. Good game tonight."

I can't believe Boston caught up. It was 3-1 for Christ's sake! Sorry to any um...religious people out there who I may have offended with that. I'm an Athiast, just letting you know. I think God is bullshit, along with evolution. Stupid scientists whoever thought up that load of crap. Okay, if I hadn't offended any one already, that probably shoulda done it. Please keep reading my blog. I'll be nicer, I promise.

Uhm, I'd just like to have a short bragging session right now, if that's okay. Actually no, it's more like complaining. See, my hockey team, we sell wreaths and leaf bags and shit like that and we go door to door asking for contributions to our hockey assciation. Yeah, I know, but how else are we supposed to lose every single game all season wearing welfare jerseys? That take time. Anyway, this girl on my team, Laura, she lives in the same neighbourhood as Jay Spezz. I know. I remind her how jealous I am of her every day. Apparently she sees Jenny Snell walking around her street all the time. Apparently she's really short. I believe that. She's also apparently really pretty. I do not believe that. Anyways, Laura's gone to his house a couple times, you know, fundraisers and such, trickertreating, ect. But Smelly Snelly always answers the door. You know, to let JayJay avoid the paparatzi and all. But today, Laura goes up to the door and knocks, expecting to find nothing more than that blond slut showing up in her face, when guess who opens the door? Yeah, I know. Spezz did. He opens it and he'll like, "Yes?" And then Laura's voice goes all high and squeaky and she'll like, "Hi, we're from the Ottawa Girls Hockey Association and we were wondering if you'd like to make a donation-" and before she can even finish, Spezz is like, "Ottawa? Yay! One sec," and he dissapears into that multi-million dollar house of his. Yeah, I'm not even lying right now, he did say yay. Totally hot. Yeah, and while he's gone, my friend Hannan turn to Laura and says "Oh my fucking God!" right before he shows up around the corner. They don't know if he heard. Anyway, he comes back with a ten dollar bill, and gives it to them. A ten dollar bill! You know how much money he makes in a year? He makes millions a season, and all he can think to give poor cute like 14 year old hockey players in ten measly dollars? If I had been there, I would have given him a look. A look he woulda remembered for a while, let me tell you. Anyway, he gives them the money and then they're all just standing there, and he's looking down at them expectantly. It last for about ten seconds before my other friend Aisha finally asks for an autograph. The moment the words leave her lips, he's got a pen in hand and at the ready. Apparently he keeps a pen behind the door at all times, in case of immergency autograph signings. I think that's pretty smart, you know, thinking ahead. I like that in a man. It also shows arrogance, like he expects that everyone who shows up at his door is gonna ask for an autograph. Which they are, but it's cocky to assume so. Anyway, Spezz tries to signing her team jersey, but the pen doesn't work! So he'll all like, "Oh, sorry, I'll just go get another one," and he spends twenty minutes running around the house looking for a fucking pen. And they're just standing there in the doorway, looking at each other with smiles that say, "I am mildly content and mildly amused right now." Yeah, you know that look. Anyway, after 20 minutes he comes back all out of breath with a pen and signs around, and then they say thank you and he closes the door and and they leave. And then they come to hockey practice and tell me all about it. Because they know I love him. And they felt like flaunting it around in my face. Because they're mean. Aisha even wore the jersay that he signed during the whole practice. I got mad, but then she told me that he was wearing a tight, white, short-sleeved shirt and that his arms looked really really great, so I forgot about my anger and spent the rest of the day dreaming about that. Yeah, I know, I'm pathetic.