Birthdays in December

Okay, I'm really nervous, so I need to take my off of the finals. I've decided to tell you all the birthdays in December that I missed. All of them. Well, only the ones worth mentioning. I'm not that nervous.

December

1st: -Ryan Malone. A former Penguin. He has tattoos all over his chest and arms. He is hilarious.

3rd:-Igor Larionov. The father a certain someone who has made her rounds with a few well-known Russians that we hear about every so often.
-Mike Ramsey. One of the players on the 1980 USA Olympic team, you might remember him from Miracle, when they defeated the Soviet Union in the final for the very first time. What a guy, he is well remembered.

7th: -Georges Laraque. A tough hit-man for the Montreal Canadiens. A former Pen, who's only off-season exercise is some muscle-clentching yoga.

8th: -Drew Doughty. Ah, Drew. The youngest guy ever the make the Canadian Olympic team, I think. I don't suspect he'll play.

11th: -Daniel Alfredsson. Now we know the secret to his number.

13th: -Sergei Federov. A now retired former Capital.
-Bob Gainey. A failure as a Habs GM, a failure as a Habs coach, and now, once again, a failure as a Habs GM.

20th: -Andrei Markov. He's got one of the 'A's for the Montreal Canadiens. Everyone thought he was going to be captain after Koivu and everyone left.

21st: -Petr Sykora. Ah, how we miss you so in Pittsburgh. I'm naming my dog after you. Little Buddy Sykora will be his name.

23rd: -Scott Gomez. He replaced Kovalev on the Habs, and we all thought it was a crappy deal since he sucks ass, but it turns out he isn't half bad. It's nice when some things turn out in your favor once in a while.

27th: -Patrick Sharp. Sharpie. The Uterus Killer. He helps ol' Burish out in his continuous pranks against the youngsters on the Hawks squad, and we love him for it. He also happens to be conviniently good-looking.

28th: -Terry Sawchuk. Brodeur has destroyed you, and all your little records too.

29th: -Filip Kuba. I just felt I should put his name up here, you know, cuz I live in Ottawa, and he's a moderately good defense. This does not mean I am a Sens fan.