I Haven't Quite Adapted to the Time Change

Sooooooooo. HELLO FAMILY! I was in France. Playing rugby. NBD. But anyway. I'm back now. Back to reality. And in reality I find out that

a) Ovechkin is injured due to "bumps and bruises"

b) Alfie was a scratch for the Sens vs Caps game tonight (along with Mike Green, Jason Arnott, Sergei Gonchar, Matt Carkner & others)

c) Sidney Crosby had a vigorous 45 min workout today (the longest since his concussion), of which the videos have been playing regularly on sportsnet

d) Jason Spezza is consistently balding

Three out of the four I don't like. I'll leave it up to you to decide which ones. By the way, I'm not some creeper who has like a weird fetish for old balding guys. If I had a fetish for anything, I'd say it would be necks. I really like the backs of people's necks. Don't publish that, it was embarrassing. In retrospect, I should probably have deleted it, but I'm not one to live in the past. Anyway.

These are the first things I found out about hockey the moment I stepped off the plane. I learned more interesting things after that. And more important things. Like, um, hello, Jesse Winchester likes eating steaks, listening to country music and watching the Discovery Channel. AND, he likes history. Hello soulmate. Do you hear the bells? (I also watched Hairspray today AND 17 Again, I'm like on a Zac Efron high)

Also, when you're at a Washington Capitals game in Ottawa and half the seats are empty and Ovie's a scratch and so is Green and those were the two people you brought the tickets to actually see, I found out that a certain Mr. Alexander Semin catches the eye, especially when he and Backstrom are the only ones on the team warming up without helmets on. I believe I told my dad numerous times throughout those twenty-odd minutes to "for the love of GOD look at how feathery his hair is". Not lying. I flows when he skates, and bounds likes lords a leapin' when he shoots. Love it. Sex hair? Not quite up to the standards of Tangers, but I think so.

oh.my.god.

I can't even believe I found these. These videos will change your life. I am in awe.
Road to the Winter Classic
Highlight: First 10 minutes; Pens naked in the locker room and Ovechkin in a speedo.

The full version of the second video is on youtube, 50 mins.

Here's another funny one, Max being a weirdo.
Max/Sid interview Winter Classic

Thrills

Watch this video and tell me it doesn't make you fucking antsy bout the Winter Classic.

Pens/Caps Thriller

Well done, NHL. This is one good move. Pittsburgh vs. Washington for the Winter Classic is pure genius. Too bad Sergei isn't going to be there to enjoy it. Let's read up on what Maxy thinks about this whole thing, hmm?

I've got this thing on audio and in writing, so y'all can have the full experience because let me tell you, this thing is epic. This, right here, is why we love Maxime Talbot. This is why.

While the NHL season does not get underway for another two months, one of the hottest rivalries has already begun to heat up.

Pittsburgh Penguins forward Max Talbot began a war of words with Washington Capitals superstar Alexander Ovechkin on Tuesday while Talbot was promoting the upcoming 2011 NHL Winter Classic between the Pens and Caps at Heinz Field on New Year's Day.

While doing a promotional interview on Pittsburgh Radio Station 105.9 The X, Talbot said that Ovechkin was a "real douche" and continued to stir the pot with more statements of how much he dislikes the two-time Hart Trophy winner.

"I just hate the guy," Talbot told The X on Tuesday. "I can't lie. Sorry. Even more so for a guy like Ovechkin. Like, seriously, okay...yeah. I don't like him."

As the radio hosts continued to egg him, Talbot admitted that he immediately disliked Ovechkin the first time he met him.

"The first time I met him, actually, when I met him off the ice," Talbot told The X. "You hear a lot of stories about a guy, but sometimes they're not true. You hear of guys who are not good guys, and you're like, 'Yeah, okay, I'll give the guy a shot.' The first time I met him, let's say he didn't give the best impression to me, so better reason to hate him even more."

Talbot also stated that he continued his hatred for the Russian sniper during a subsequent encounter.

"I was actually at the NHL Awards last summer with (Evgeni) Malkin, and we brought the Stanley Cup over there after the season," Talbot told The X. "Malkin knew Ovechkin, and introduced me to him, and the first impression wasn't great. I'm not really gonna say what happened, but I'm like, 'Ok, this guy is a real douche.' "

While Ovechkin has yet to respond, this is just the latest chapter in the immensely entertaining rivalry between two of the best teams in the NHL's Eastern Conference.

You make my life, Superstar.

His and Her Story

Okay, so, the deed is done. Chicago has finally gotten rid of Vancouver. You know what I say to that? It's about goddamn time. Jesus.



So now, only one game of importance remains. Sure, Boston still has to play Philedelphia. And Philedelphia could overrun Boston just like Montreal did against Washington oh-so-long-ago, but we don't care about that. The only thing we care about right now, is one game. The only thing in life that we have to even worry about right now is the game tonight. Tonight, Montreal plays Pittsburgh. Tonight, you win, and you move on. Tonight, you lose, and you're out. Forever.

This is the game, folks. History WILL be made.

Does Anyone Still Have Any Clean Underwear On?

Is. Anyone. Aware. Of. What. Just. Happened.


The Habs. The Montreal Canadiens, Habitants, Blue, Blanc et Rouge. Le vrai, 101 years.
Just beat out.
The Washington Capitals.
Just beat out.
Alex Ovechkin, the Great 8, the Russian Machine.

Does anyone remember what I've been saying ever since the playoffs began? I predicted this outcome. Don't even say I didn't.


HABS. IN. 7.


Holy fuck.

Make Me Shit My Pants, Why Don't Ya

Um, wow. Kay. Post #103:

We think it's going into overtime, the score being 4-4 and all, but then the Habs score another goal to make it 5-4. Then we're all happy because Montreal does a really good penalty kill, allowing almost not shots on net. BUT THEN. Washington scores with a minute and half left!!!!!! Oh my goodness, now the score is tied up at 5, and both teams are fighting frantically for the same goal only on opposites ends of the universe.

No one scores.
Now it's going into overtime.
I predict a goal from Camalleri.
I am sticking to my game plan.

Habs in 4.

#102

Hello, world. I have some very special news to share. This, here, what you're reading right at this moment, is my one hundred and second post. YeeuP. This blog has graced 102 posts. No joke. I wish I had realized this on my one hundredth , but I wasn't really paying attention, because I was too engrossed in telling you all about Tyler. Yep, it's true. My one hundredth post was used to enform you that Tyler Myers has a girlfriend. I think it was worth it.

And then my one hundred and first post was used to tell you that the Habs had won the first game of the series agains Washington, which was completely worth it, no doubt.

Pittsburgh, by the way, won their second game against Ottawa. Series is now 1-1.
Habs are currently tied 4-4 to Caps with 6:00 left in the third. Can you spell intense?

YAY

12:20: Gionta to Gomez, Habs score. 2-2. I feel like I helped.

11:55: Halak makes an incredible splits save to keep it tied up. Commentator calls him "Jarhav" instead of Jaroslav. Thanks for that one, Pierre McGuire. You better make him your monster, just because you flopped.

A Little Hope

It is currently 2-1 Washington with 15:46 left in the third. If the Habs don't win this one, it'll ruin my prediction for a sweep and I'll lose a 5 dollar bet with my teacher.


Score, Montreal. Score.

Lord Stanley, Give Us Your Votes

Have you guys seen the new votes we have going on here now? I think they're right about...here:----------------------------------->>>

You should really give your opinion. So far we've got over 10 votes, which is more than the last one I put up at least. This is a super intense question, though. Really makes you think. The TSN and Sportscentre analysists both think that Washington and Chicago are going to face off in the finals, which those of you who have voted have seemed to have agreed on, mostly. You also seem to think some random underdog might take the win. You never know. Pitt was an underdog a little while back, they were hardly even going to make the playoffs two years ago. There's always a chance. I think Phoenix is gonna give us all a run for our money. Not that they haven't done well this year, it's just that...you don't expect Phoenix to win. You just don't. It's some sort of unconscious thing that we all do. They finished pretty high up in the standings, and yet we don't pay them any mind. "Someone will beat them," we all say. And it's probably true. But you never know, kids. These years, things just keep getting wierder and wierder.

Shitting Bricks

Ladies and gentlemen; the playoffs.

Yes, they're finally here. All is done and decided, and, after a year of anxious await, we have our teams. Some of the results were suprising, yes, especially how the best of the brothers (E Staal) didn't make the post-season because of the shit team he's been stuck on, and how the "Bolts" didn't make it either even though they had a 50+ goal sophmore un-slumper.

But all is well. And do you know why? Because the Habs made it in. Yes, yes they did. Don't sound so surprised. I knew they were gonna make it the whole time. Sure, they gave us a few scares here and there, but hell. What's the regular season for if not for giving 15 year old girls heart attacks?

No, I didn't forget that Montreal has to play Washington. It's not a big deal. Sure, they're the top team in the world, but I believe in my Habitants. They can do anything if they set their minds to it. My prediction? A sweep. Habs in 4.

OTTAWA IS PLAYING PITTSBURGH! WHOOOOO! The Hockey Gods actually read my letter this year! I feel so proud. I'm going to one of their games. The fourth one, actually. I kind of hope the Pens sweep, so that's I'll be in the stands to witness Geno smile. That will make my entire life, I can assure you.

I feel bad for San Jose. They've scored so many goals this year that analysists have even gone to the extreme of saying that Joe Thornton might not even flop these playoffs because of his newly acquired personal douchebag (Dany Heatley). I laugh at those people. Once a post-season flop, always a post-season flop. Thornton has a notorious record for shitting a brick every time he steps on playoff ice. This isn't going to change. I don't even need to know who the Sharks are playing to be sure that they're going to fail miserably.

I don't really feel bad.