Young & Stupid

**Haha. I just found this draft I hadn't finished writing about 3 million years ago. It made me laugh. Now, you get to read it too. You'll be able to place yourself perfectly in the time frame, don't even worry about it. Oh, I was so silly back then...**


Gahh. Tonight. Let me tell you bout tonight. Tonight, Eric Staal was in Ottawa. Tonight, Ovie was in Toronto. Tonight, Colby was in Montreal. Let me tell you bout tonight.

Let's start off in the Capital. Canes vs Sens. Ottawa was wearing their stupid SENS jerseys, and I immediately knew it wasn't going to be a good game. I mean, those jerseys. GOD. How can they show their faces in public wearing those things? They almost make the Habs' 1912-1913 zebra stripe barber pole retro uniforms look good.

Alright, so, retro Sens start off good, and, oh? Guess who gets a goal? Was it...

a) Cappy 'n Giggles


b)A spicy italian man

or

c) The guy who hasn't put one in in 16 games

That's right Kovalev, I'm talking about you. But don't look so hurt, it's a good thing. Because guess what happens next?

Its all tied up. Only a few minutes to go in the third. Both teams are bringing out their top guns.
And then.
And then.
And then.
Another AK27 goal.
W-O-W.

But wait.
There's more.
So.
The empty net.
Whats gonna happen.
Will E Staal score and tie up the game?
Or will the Sens redeem themselves once again?
Who knows?
I do.
I know.

Kovalev scores.
On the empty net.

He got a hat-trick, his first hat-trick as a Senator, and his 401st goal in the NHL. Yay, biiiiig celebration, right? Um, not so much. Kovalev smiles, skates off to the bench, and sits down. He looks at the fans, the fans who have yet to adore him, and his smile slowly fades. Why? Because he misses Montreal. If he had been playing for the Habitants when he scored this hat-trick, there would have been three million goddamn hats raining all over the goddamn rink. And what does he see here? A hat. One single hat, has made its way onto the ice surface. Kovalev is about to cry. Nothing is going right for him. He gets sent to play for this piece of shit team, and then the fans don't even accept him. He says one thing wrong, and all of a sudden he's "not fully commited to being here". He goes on a scoring drought. Wait, no. Not a scoring drought. A scoring and assisting drought. A scoring, assisting, and point-making drought. Hell, just a plain doing anything drought. But now he has broken it. He has scored three goals today. He has done good. And the fans can't even give him a few measly hats to celebrate? I'm sure, eventually, the fans realized what they were supposed to do, and began raining a couple more hats onto the ice. I mean, you can't blame them. They live in Ottawa. It isn't often they get to see someone get a hat-trick. They still aren't sure what to do.

Alright, so that's it. Ottawa wins, Carolina is screwed. Poor E. He's trying so hard, what with his new baby and all. I don't mean to be a downer, but there isn't a very big chance of him making the Olympic team with the effort his team is giving him. If his team can't do shit, he can't do shit. Poor, poor, miserable E.


**rolf rolf rolf :D**

What a Day

Alright. I need to tell you about three extremely monumental things that happened today:

1st- Sidney Crosby moved out of Mario Lemieux's house. Yes, it's true. He finally bought himself his own house to live in, after taking advantage of Mario's hospitalities ever since he came to the NHL. This event is long overdue, but hey, it's happening now. I'm thinking it's because he's deciding he wants to bring his gay partners home and he doesn't need some kids running around asking why there's some random naked dude wandering around the house. Just a theory. Sid also rejected an invitation to join Team Canada in the Worlds. I'm also associating this descision to his homosexuality.

2nd- Jared Staal, the youngest of all the Staal brothers, as you should already know, was drafted to Phoenix. But, what you don't know, is that today, he was traded to Carolina for a fifth round draft pick. Let me explain this to you in simpler terms: Jared Staal was traded to the same team as Eric Staal. Therefor, two Staal brothers will be playing on the same team. This is huger than Sportscentre is giving it credit for. Hence my current extatic state. They're going to be playing on the same team! Like, what the fuck? This never happens. Ever. I don't even know why they would do something like that, I mean Eric and Jared are 6 years apart. It's not like they have some special chemistry or something. Then again, maybe they do. Maybe it's like a shared-blood thing or something. They'd be like the Kostitsyns. Cept one Kostitsyn is probably done for his career, so he can't even be mentioned in the same breath as a family so incredible such as the Staals. Jesus, I can't even believe this. They might play on the same line someday. I can't even explain to you how much I'm not believing this right now. It's like one of those things where it's like impossible, yet it's possible, you know? This is huge.

3rd: Steven Stamkos, who is currently playing for Team Canada in the Worlds, is out for a possible concussion and will probably be out for the rest of the tournament. While this is suckish for him, it just happens to be un-suckish for a certain clutch god that we know and love very well who will be taking his place. Have you guessed who it is yet? Yes, it's Jordan Eberle. Good job. Kick ass, Messiah.

A Staal Update

Greetings from South Carolina.

I got to watch all three Staal brothers play in one day yesterday. This is the first time this has ever happened to me. It was a life changing experience.

Jordan Staal is really hot. I've been noticing this especially lately. It's just the way that his hair is so smooth and wavy, and how his skin seems to stay just the right shade of tan even when he's on the ice. Alex Ponikarovsy's skin does this too. He is also very attractive. He is a wonderful new addition to our Pens. It's amazing that they managed to get him.

Eric Staal is getting too good. It's not right. He is speeding away from his brothers at an extraordinary rate. Its not that I don't want him to be good, really, I do, but it's all just happening too fast. Something happened this year that changed him.

Marc Staal is rapidly falling far behind. He was never truly as skilled as his offensive brothers, but at least he had some defending power. Now, he doesn't really do much. He doesn't connect passes too well, or catch them for that matter. He doesn't score, and he doesn't save goals. He hits people, but not as well as he used to. I blame his girlfriend. Did you know she's a supermodel? I think her name is Kat or something. She's foreign. Foreign and blond.

I miss Jared. He used to be good and full of potential. Now, he's fallen off the map. He no longer lives on the face of this Earth. He lives in...(GASP!) the AHL. Duh Duh DUH. I liked it better when he played on the same team the Marc used to. I feel bad for that team, kind of, though. They got the worst two of the four Staal bros. Unlucky sons of bitches.

Pitt won against Boston and Zdeno, Carolina won against Atlanta and Mr. Armstrong, and the Rangers lost to Buffalo and Tyler Myers. Pauvre, pauvre Marc.