Moments That You Don't Want to Remember

Max Talbot....got....traded. To the....Flyers. OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD.

I Thought Poetry Was the Food of Love

Okay, so, in the hockey perspective of things, no new trades have been made by the sens or the leafs, however, in their game last night (Ottawa vs Toronto), 14 NHL teams sent representatives to watch the game, to keep track of any players they might have their eye on, seeing as these two teams have been selling away players like candies at a vegetable stand.

...Alright, that way a really bad simile. But today's blog post was not to talk about hockey. Today's post was made specifically to talk about this.

This is about Pride and Prejudice. I've seen the movie about 713 times in the past, and last night was the only time I've ever cried. It's not a sad movie, oh no. I cried from longing. Longing that Mr. Darcy was not a fictitious character. I'm in love. Not with Matthew Macfadyen. No. I'm in love with Mr. Darcy.

How can you not be? He's so wonderful. And he always looks so sad! It's adorable! And the scene in the rain where he tells her he loves her and asks her to marry him and then they fight and scream at each other and almost kiss and she says you're the last man on earth I would ever be prevailed upon to marry... oh my god. I cried at that one, not because she didn't agree to marry him but because it was just so POWERFUL. And the rain, and the fighting, and the acting was incredible. Oh, dear god. I can't take it. He's just so amazing.

I found it on youtube.

Doesn't that just make your jaw just drop like 17 inches to the floor? Mr. Darcy is the love of my life.

Okay, these next three pictures come from another one of my favorite scenes. I takes place outside in the very early morning, with the mist and the dew and the grey sky...you can almost feel the coolness of the air as your watching it. Wow. So good. This movie is amazing.

Aw. And then, he asks her to marry him again, and this time she does say yes! Well, she doesn't say yes, and he doesn't exactly ask her either... it's more of like a common understanding kind of thing. But he says this line, and it makes me cry, I'm actually welling up writing this right now just thinking about it...

"You have bewitched me, body and soul. And I love...I love... I love you. I never wish to be parted with you from this day on." And then, AND THEN! She says:

"Well then." And she kissed his hand! And his face while she's doing it is just...priceless. And then Kiera Knightly goes and says this line, and basically ruins the whole scene.

"Your hands are cold." LOL. And then he nods, in like a really sexy, I'm about to cry I'm so in love with you and I feel like I'm having sex for the first time because you just kissed my hand kind of way. It super hot. Kay, actually, never mind. I found it on youtube.

Yeah, I KNOW RIGHT? Best scene in all of television? I think so. Well, except for a kiss. But, if that's all you're looking for, all you have to do is fast-forward about...5 minutes. And then you'll find this scene. And after that, you'll find the end credits. Ready? I'm going to cry. Are you?

Final Scene -Pride and Prejudice

I just died.

I Do Not Believe This is Real. I Know it is Real. I'm Just Choosing Not to Believe it.

Mike Fisher is traded to Nashville.

Wait...WHAT?!

Today, I was leasurely browsing through some Hawks blogs when I came across some...rather frightening news. Uh, here it is.

Patrick Sharp got married.

Yeah. Now, here's the reaction I'm sure you've been waiting for. Ahem.

Um, WTF?! WHY THE HELL WOULD HE GET MARRIED???!!!! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE WAS IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP! I MEAN, I KNEW HE WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP (her name is Abby Banever, she's a blonde, obvi, I mean it's Patty) BUT STILL, IT'S SHARPIE! HE'S A PLAYER, HE DOESN'T GET MARRIED!! THEY CALL HIM THE UTERUS KILLER!! OH DEAR LORD HE'S MARRIED. PATRICK SHARP IS MARRIED, PATRICK SHARP IS OFF THE MARKET. Dear God, this is tragic, this is just horrible. I can't even believe this.

Right, okay, now that we've covered that, some other marriage news that might come as a bit of a shocker, but for a bit of a different reason.

Marian Hossa, yeah, remember him? He got married too. ROFLCOPTER. I know, right?! Laughing out loud right now. Who the fuck would marry him? His name is Marian. And on top of that, he like, loses Stanley Cups. Well, I guess not anymore. But God. Who in their right mind would marry Marian Hossa, seriously. This woman's got issues.

At least she's got legit un-blonde hair though. Not that I have a problem with blondes. I mean, they do have more fun. But I thoroughly enjoy it when hockey players take the high-road and actually do something different than the stereotype for once. I hate stereotypes. Can't work 'em.

Hossa you're a dork. We all mourn for Patty Sharp.

Death...and All of His Best Friends

I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry. I'm crying. I'm crying and yelling at my parents. Because on top of everything that's already happened, I've just found out that Adam Burish no longer plays for the Chicago Blackhawks. Adam Burish now plays for Dallas. The Stars.

I cannot even begin to believe this. The Blackhawks are insane. Add the Indian Burrito the their hitlist of lost superstars. Should I put this down on paper? All the amazing players that Chicago has lost? I think I will.

1. Andrew Ladd --Atlanta Thrashers
2. Kris Versteeg --Toronto Maple Leafs
3. Dustin Byfuglien --Atlanta Thrashers
4. Ben Eager --Atlanta Thrashers
5. Brent Sopel --Atlanta Thrashers
6. Colin Fraser --Edmonton Oilers
7. Adam Burish --Dallas Stars

Seven. Seven players. Seven incredible, amazing players that made up the team and now they're gone. What, you think your top line won the Stanley Cup all by themselves? You think Jonathan Toews, Patrick Kane and Patrick Sharp are the only forwards eligible to stay on your team? Because if I remember correctly, Sharpie wasn't the one playing on that number 1 line when your team won the thing. There was some other guy, kind of insignificant, I think his name was Bufflen...pronounced something like that. But he obviously wasn't a very important asset because you gave him away. They all obviously weren't very important assets because you gave them all away! The only person who you didn't trade away was Adam Burish, and he most likely walked out on his own because you had gotten rid of everybody else! Is that the deal, you win the Stanley Cup and then just get rid of everyone who doesn't have an annual salary of over 5 million? You don't have anybody left! How the hell do you expect your stars to get the goddamn puck if there isn't anyone there to pass it to them? Seven players. Seven players that you'll never get back. And I'll be willing to bet that you aren't done here. There are more players on your roster just asking to get traded away. You know who Atlanta is now? Chicago. Atlanta is Chicago because you gave them your soul. You gave them your essence and you didn't even ask for anything in return. The Thrashers and the Oilers and the Maple Leafs. Those are going to be the teams to watch next season because you helped them. You brought dying teams down from the depths for nothing. Nothing! Screw you, Chicago. You deserve another 49 years without the cup.

Toronto is Taking Over the World

Okay, I'm sorry I couldn't meld this all into one post. But I found this out about three seconds after I posted it, and I am too freaked out to add. Here's what happened: Toronto found lucky dust, or something, or they currently have a fairy godmother who is granting them three wishes and they've already used their first two. Because...ohmygod. Because they just recieved -no, stole- two of the most amazing people to ever set foot on NHL ice.


Kris Versteeg. Verbeauty. The wierdest, most amiable guy you'll ever meet in your life. Who just won the Stanley Cup with the Blackhawks. Who sang a song in front of the entire city of Chicago. Is going to Toronto. To play for the MAPLE LAUGHS.


Colby Armstrong. Our Colby. Who's heart belongs in Pittsburgh. Who married and actual decent human being. Who is not blonde. Is finally getting out of Atlanta, but is going somewhere much, much worse. Is going to Toronto. To play for the MAPLE LAUGHS.


This is the worst day of my life. They cannot go to Toronto. That is the bottom of the NHL food chain. You know what's going to happen to them there? They're going to disappear. They're going to fall off the face of this Earth because the Leafs don't have enough stamina to keep running at a pace that will force them to remain on the hockey tredmill of LIFE. They're going to die, and you'll never hear about any of them ever again.


And you know what Brian Burke said once he had added all those incredible people to his shit-face of a team? He's not done. He isn't finished. He's going to continue stealing all these wonderful men until there are none left for anybody else! This is a disaster.


Army, Verbeauty, go back. Get out. Go back to where you belong. Toronto will destroy you. Get out while you still have time! Stick together. The only way the two of you will be able to survive this is if you form an unbreakable bond of friendship. Stay together at all costs. Leave no man behind. If one goes down, you take the other one with you. This is your only chance for survival. Believe, men. You can get through this.

The Colby/Kris Memorial:





Now look at this picture and tell me you don't wanna puck your guts out for love for Colby.

X-Weighted

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH THE WORLD?!?!

The Hawks traded Byfuglien. They traded Big Buff! Not only that, but Ben Eager, and Brent Sopel! What the hell? The three of them are joining Colby in Atlanta, in exchange for the 24th pick in the draft. This better be a damn good son, because not just anyone can replace our playoff heroes. We also get a second round draft pick, and some shit guys named Jeremy Morin, Marty Reasoner and Joseph Crabb. Who the fuck are these people? And what gives them the right to take the spots of our men? These are our men!

Fuck the NHL. This draft better be good. If Taylor Hall does not go first, I will kill something.

The Art of Ripping Out Hearts

They...traded...they traded...Halak...they traded him...the Habs traded...Halak...

WHAT THE FUCK IS THEIR PROBLEM?! HE GOES AND TAKES THEM ALL THE WAY TO THE GODDAMN SEMIFINALS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN LIKE 17 YEARS AND THEY TRADE HIM AWAY?!! HE CARRIED THEM ON HIS BACK! HE SAVED THEIR SORRY ASSES EVERY SINGLE TIME THEY COULDN'T KEEP THEIR SHIT TOGETHER LONG ENOUGH TO HOLD A LEAD!! HE WAS THE REASON THEY MADE IT AS FAR AS THEY DID! HE WAS THEIR HEART AND SOUL WHEN THEY DIDNT HAVE A CAPTAIN TO TAKE THE LEAD!! AND NOW THEY'RE TRADING HIM?! AND TO THE BLUES?!! WHY DO THE BLUES GET HIM???? AT LEAST GIVE HIM TO SOMEONE MIDLY WORTHY! BUT NO! NO! YOU DON'T EVEN GIVE HIM AWAY! YOU DON'T THROW AWAY A ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?! AND WHO THE FUCK IS LARS ELLER?!! WHO THE FUCK IS IAN SCHULTZ??! HOW ARE THEY WORTHY TO BE A PART OF THIS TEAM?? DO THEY EVEN PLAY IN THE FUCKING NHL?!! THIS SUCKS! YOU. ARE. SO. FUCKING. STUPID!!!!!!! JAROSLAV HALAK WAS THE FUTURE OF THE MONTREAL CANADIENS FUCKING FRANCHISE, AND YOU GOT RID OF HIM. YOU GOT RID OF KEN DRYDEN. DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT, HUH MONTREAL?? WAS THIS YOUR DOING BOB GAINEY?!! BECAUSE THIS IS SOMETHING YOU WOULD DO!!! YOU CAN'T JUST BRING IN A NEW UNKNOWN GOALIE ONTO YOUR TEAM AND THEN LET HIM STEAL OUR HEARTS AND THEN JUST TAKE HIM AWAY!! YOU CAN'T BRING OUR HOPES UP BY GIVING US GREATNESS AND THEN JUST SEND US CRASHING DOWN! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO WIN A STANLEY CUP IN THE NEXT FIVE YEARS! THAT WAS THE PREDICTION!!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE PREDICTION IS NOW?!! 17 MORE YEARS OF FAILURE. HALAK WAS WHO WE WERE. HE REPRESENTED ALL THAT WE STOOD FOR AS A TEAM, COMING OUT OF NOWHERE AND OVERCOMING ALL ADVERSITY. YOU KILLED OUR FUCKING SPIRIT!!!! WHO THE FUCK EVEN CAME UP WITH THIS IDEA?! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN CONSIDER SOMETHING LIKE THIS?!!!!??! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?! AND NOW IT'S TOO LATE, BECAUSE JARO'S LEAVING AND THE TEAM WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!! FUCK YOU. YOU'VE DAMNED US ALL.

Denial

Taken from the Ottawa Citizen on June 11th, 2010:

Jason Spezza a Proud Papa of a Baby Girl

OTTAWA — Jason and Jennifer Spezza are the proud parents of Sophia Donna, the Ottawa Senators confirmed Friday.

The baby girl was born June 8 around 11 p.m. Thursday at St. Joseph's Health Centre in Toronto.

No other details were immediately available.

Remember how I said I didn't care about Jason Spezza anymore?

I lied.
He turns 27 tomorrow.

When There's a Way

Hockey Is

I cried just now.
Know why?
I watched this commercial.
It made me cry.

Jesus Christ, Sid.

Do I Really Wanna Rip My Heart Out, Though?

This is an exerpt from the Morning's Ottawa Citizen:


BABY NEWS

Senators centre Jason Spezza and his wife, Jennifer, are expecting their first child at the end of June.

They don't know if the baby is going to be a boy or a girl and say they're not going to ask.

"One of life's last mysteries," Spezza said Sunday.


You're probably thinking right now that I'm gonna start ranting about what a ho bag Spezz and Smelly are now, because they're starting a new family. But you're wrong.

It's true. I seem to have moved past Giggles. See, the thing is, he keeps trying to get attention. Like, first, he and Dany Boy have a falling out, involving the entire league, and then he goes and decides to get married, right, and take up three FULL pages of the sports section with pictures of him kissing his wife at the altar. And then he goes and invents for himself a stupid laugh that he uses in the randomest of situations, forcing TSN and Sportscentre to replay the clip over and over again until they can't stand to hear it anymore. And if all that weren't enough, now he's knocked up his wife.

Is that possible? Does it still count as knocking up if you're married? Whatever. It sounds mean and sketchy, and that is what they deserve. Because they are mean and sketchy people.

But you know what, Jason Spezza? I don't care anymore. You can try and get attention all you want, but we don't care. NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU. For all I care, you can put a huge-ass photograph of you and your new family at the hospital with your naked new-born baby in your arms. And you know what else? No one will take a second glance. Hell, they might even turn away in disgust. In disgust!

So you better think, next time you wanna get attention. Think about the people who are actually gonna listen. Because I'm sure that in the end, those aren't the ones you wanted to hear you.