Kris Versteeg. Verbeauty. The wierdest, most amiable guy you'll ever meet in your life. Who just won the Stanley Cup with the Blackhawks. Who sang a song in front of the entire city of Chicago. Is going to Toronto. To play for the MAPLE LAUGHS.
Colby Armstrong. Our Colby. Who's heart belongs in Pittsburgh. Who married and actual decent human being. Who is not blonde. Is finally getting out of Atlanta, but is going somewhere much, much worse. Is going to Toronto. To play for the MAPLE LAUGHS.
This is the worst day of my life. They cannot go to Toronto. That is the bottom of the NHL food chain. You know what's going to happen to them there? They're going to disappear. They're going to fall off the face of this Earth because the Leafs don't have enough stamina to keep running at a pace that will force them to remain on the hockey tredmill of LIFE. They're going to die, and you'll never hear about any of them ever again.
And you know what Brian Burke said once he had added all those incredible people to his shit-face of a team? He's not done. He isn't finished. He's going to continue stealing all these wonderful men until there are none left for anybody else! This is a disaster.
Army, Verbeauty, go back. Get out. Go back to where you belong. Toronto will destroy you. Get out while you still have time! Stick together. The only way the two of you will be able to survive this is if you form an unbreakable bond of friendship. Stay together at all costs. Leave no man behind. If one goes down, you take the other one with you. This is your only chance for survival. Believe, men. You can get through this.
The Colby/Kris Memorial:
Now look at this picture and tell me you don't wanna puck your guts out for love for Colby.
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