Death...and All of His Best Friends

I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry. I'm crying. I'm crying and yelling at my parents. Because on top of everything that's already happened, I've just found out that Adam Burish no longer plays for the Chicago Blackhawks. Adam Burish now plays for Dallas. The Stars.

I cannot even begin to believe this. The Blackhawks are insane. Add the Indian Burrito the their hitlist of lost superstars. Should I put this down on paper? All the amazing players that Chicago has lost? I think I will.

1. Andrew Ladd --Atlanta Thrashers
2. Kris Versteeg --Toronto Maple Leafs
3. Dustin Byfuglien --Atlanta Thrashers
4. Ben Eager --Atlanta Thrashers
5. Brent Sopel --Atlanta Thrashers
6. Colin Fraser --Edmonton Oilers
7. Adam Burish --Dallas Stars

Seven. Seven players. Seven incredible, amazing players that made up the team and now they're gone. What, you think your top line won the Stanley Cup all by themselves? You think Jonathan Toews, Patrick Kane and Patrick Sharp are the only forwards eligible to stay on your team? Because if I remember correctly, Sharpie wasn't the one playing on that number 1 line when your team won the thing. There was some other guy, kind of insignificant, I think his name was Bufflen...pronounced something like that. But he obviously wasn't a very important asset because you gave him away. They all obviously weren't very important assets because you gave them all away! The only person who you didn't trade away was Adam Burish, and he most likely walked out on his own because you had gotten rid of everybody else! Is that the deal, you win the Stanley Cup and then just get rid of everyone who doesn't have an annual salary of over 5 million? You don't have anybody left! How the hell do you expect your stars to get the goddamn puck if there isn't anyone there to pass it to them? Seven players. Seven players that you'll never get back. And I'll be willing to bet that you aren't done here. There are more players on your roster just asking to get traded away. You know who Atlanta is now? Chicago. Atlanta is Chicago because you gave them your soul. You gave them your essence and you didn't even ask for anything in return. The Thrashers and the Oilers and the Maple Leafs. Those are going to be the teams to watch next season because you helped them. You brought dying teams down from the depths for nothing. Nothing! Screw you, Chicago. You deserve another 49 years without the cup.

Burish vs Pronger

So, what you gotta do, is first you gotta watch this video.

Adam Burish About Chris Pronger

And then you gotta watch this video.

Chris Pronger about Adam Burish


Now I think you should know that I'm fully impartial to this. I have both of their autographs so they're equal to me. But I'm tacking in your tallies. Who do you think have a more legit response? Who do you think owned who harder? Who do you think embarrassed themselves the most? This is some intense beef we got going on here, folks. This is Burish vs Pronger. I'm tacking your tallies. Your comments will be registered.

Here's a third video, you will laugh your pants off, guaranteed. Notice Soupy singing along with Verbeauty in the background. Notice Kaner lower his un-mulleted head in shame. Notice how he makes references to two of his cyberspace failures in one quote, referring to both the limo incident and the cab incident. Also, notice at the end yet another snidbit of the same fight we saw earlier. And remember why we love these boys so much. We do. We really, really do.

Stanley Cup Parade

Dear Adam

Adam Burish:

Are you well yet? It's been quite a while, sir, I'd expect you to be back by now. What the hell was even wrong with you anyway that's made you miss the whole goddamn season? Chicago misses you. Sure, they were doing alright at first. Most sports anilisists even believed they were the best team in the NHL. But then they lost to Ottawa. And now Ottawa is on a 10 game winning streak. And now those fucktard sports anilisists are re-thinking things. Chicago needs an aggravator, Burs, and you're their man.

Get back to it.

Injured Reserve

If the injured player percentage continues spiralling down at this rate, there won't be any players left by the end of next week. It all began with poor Maxime, who had a shoulder surgery during the summer and wasn't expected to be back for four to five months. That was...three or four months ago, so not long left to wait!

Then Adam Burish got injured during one of the pre-season games, and won't be back playing for a while. That was pretty sad. I got over it. But then, low and behold, Sergei Gonchar. A broken foot. Out.

Not long after, Johnny Toews gets caught with his head down, and gets slammed in the middle of the ice. I almost cried when that happened; he went down right away, spun a bit, got up, took a few measly steps, and fell over again. I could tell he was embarrassed; he went straight to the bench. It was kind of funny though, on the bench they kept the camera on him, and his teammates and coaches kept coming up to him askin gif he as okay. There was no sound, but you could read their lips. After the first few, Jon was like, "Yeah, I'm fine," but then the more they came and came and came, he was all like, "I'M FINE, OKAY? LEAVE ME ALONE!" Yeah, I know. I laughed.

So, Tazer is out with a concussion or something. And then Spezz leaks out that he might sit a game or two because of "bumps and bruises", in his own words. He never ended up skipping any, until last night against Tampa Bay, where he said to be out with a back problem. The Sens didn't do too well without him, I'll tell you that. I hope he comes back soon.

Well, I thought that was enough injuries of my favorite players, don't you? Guess the Hockey Gods didn't think so. They decided, "Oh, Sergei Gonchar seems lonely, all injured by himself. Let's give him a Russian to keep him company!" So they decide to take my Geno. *tear*

If this keeps up, soon Sid and Ovie'll get hurt too, and then what'll those commentators talk about all game long?

The Injured Reserve

Maxime isn't going to play. I'm torn. Completely torn. I saw on the Pens web site a few months ago and a thing that said, "Talbot Undergoes Successful Shoulder Surgery". I didn't bother reading the article because I thought, "Oh, good, he'll get to play soon." But, NO! Apparently the recovery time for undergoing shoulder surgery is four to five MONTHS. MONTHS!!!!!! Can you believe that? I'm not gonna get to see Superstar play for five months! Dude, this is gonna be the worst season ever, what with Adam Burish gone and all...shit, I hate the Hockey Gods.




I didn't mean that.

Just A Little Update

Alright, I'm sick today, and very bored, with nothing to do. So I've decided I'll update you on all the recent NHL info the I deam important enough to grace this humble blog.

• Alex Ovechkin is doing extremely well this season so far. Here's a scary thought for his opponents: Ovechkin had 56 goals last season but didn't get his third until Nov. 10. He already has gotten three in Washington's first two games this season and has had a hand in six of the 10 goals scored by the Caps in their two wins. Yeah, I know.
• Sid scored a goal in each of the Pens first two games this season, and got the clinching goal in the shootout against the Islanders on Saturday. He seems more than ready to lead his team and defend their championship.
• John Tavares, the #1 draft pick of the 2009 NHL entry draft, got a goal and an assist in his very first NHL game of his career, and got to shoot second in the shootout. Unfourtunately, his shot went wide, giving Pittsburgh the win. Nevertheless, what more can you hope for in your NHL debut?
• Martin Brodeur, the NHL's winningest regular-season goaltender played his 1,000th NHL game Saturday, and would most definitely like to forget it. Brodeur allowed five goals on 27 shots and was beaten by a couple of very stoppable shots in New Jersey's 5-2 home loss to Philadelphia. Looks like someone's getting old...I wonder if Steve Yzerman is re-considering his original plan to take the 'more experienced' goal-tenders to the Olympics. Maybe MAF has a shot after all.
• Adam Burish tore the anterior cruciate ligament in his right knee during a pre-season game against Minnesota, and will be out for six months. I don't know how I'm going to survive without seeing The Indian Burrito out on the ice every other night. He is the cheese to my macaroni. Do you know how plain macaroni is without cheese?

Adam Burish, I love you

This video made my life today. Adam Burish, I love you. You're name may sound somewhat like an indian burrito, but really, we love you anyway. The Adam doesn't come without the Burish, just like the Burish doesn't come without the Adam. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Adam Burish. Okay I'm done. Watch the video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfgUirb8WvI&NR=1
Follow the link. Do it. Go. Now. Also, follow this one, and watch all the blackhawks videos. They're hilarious. The Hawks make my life. They all ought to be engraved on the loonie someday.
http://blackhawks.nhl.tv/team/console.jsp?catid=894