Farewell, Clouston

Um, Clouston's been fired.
...I don't really know what to say about this. Brian Murray issued the statement. Uh. I don't know. I don't think that was the right move. Wow. This is a shock. Um...I don't know what to do now. Where are they going to go to find a new coach? It doesn't matter, I still don't get it. Cory Clouston was a hard-ass, he pushed the Sens. He was mean. I think that's what they needed, don't you? Sure, they were crap this year, but was that really because of him? Maybe it was about the core of players that made up the team. And then they traded a whole bunch of them away, and things got better, didn't they? Players got called up from the minors, and then the majority of the Ottawa Senators was made up of people who had worked their entire lives to get there, and hadn't forgotten how hard it had been, and how much they had sacrificed. The opportunity was still fresh in their minds, and taking advantage of this moment was the most important thing. This was their number one priority, and I think that's the reason for the Senators' boost in the standings. They had players on their team who were actually trying their best and their hardest. They had players on their team who were trying to prove themselves, and prove they could compete in the NHL. They knew the opportunity that was being placed in front of them wouldn't last forever. They knew they had nothing to lose, so why not go all out?

That's what the team needs. People who play like they have nothing to lose. They don't need a new coach. They need a new attitude. Go and think about that for a second, and tell me again that this was Clouston's fault.

I Haven't Quite Adapted to the Time Change

Sooooooooo. HELLO FAMILY! I was in France. Playing rugby. NBD. But anyway. I'm back now. Back to reality. And in reality I find out that

a) Ovechkin is injured due to "bumps and bruises"

b) Alfie was a scratch for the Sens vs Caps game tonight (along with Mike Green, Jason Arnott, Sergei Gonchar, Matt Carkner & others)

c) Sidney Crosby had a vigorous 45 min workout today (the longest since his concussion), of which the videos have been playing regularly on sportsnet

d) Jason Spezza is consistently balding

Three out of the four I don't like. I'll leave it up to you to decide which ones. By the way, I'm not some creeper who has like a weird fetish for old balding guys. If I had a fetish for anything, I'd say it would be necks. I really like the backs of people's necks. Don't publish that, it was embarrassing. In retrospect, I should probably have deleted it, but I'm not one to live in the past. Anyway.

These are the first things I found out about hockey the moment I stepped off the plane. I learned more interesting things after that. And more important things. Like, um, hello, Jesse Winchester likes eating steaks, listening to country music and watching the Discovery Channel. AND, he likes history. Hello soulmate. Do you hear the bells? (I also watched Hairspray today AND 17 Again, I'm like on a Zac Efron high)

Also, when you're at a Washington Capitals game in Ottawa and half the seats are empty and Ovie's a scratch and so is Green and those were the two people you brought the tickets to actually see, I found out that a certain Mr. Alexander Semin catches the eye, especially when he and Backstrom are the only ones on the team warming up without helmets on. I believe I told my dad numerous times throughout those twenty-odd minutes to "for the love of GOD look at how feathery his hair is". Not lying. I flows when he skates, and bounds likes lords a leapin' when he shoots. Love it. Sex hair? Not quite up to the standards of Tangers, but I think so.

Trade Deadline!

Guess what? Today is the trade deadline! This is so exciting, I can hardly contain myself. My face is pink with barely controlled glee. I'm not being sarcastic. I know sometimes it's difficult to tell in writing but this time I am genuinely excited about this trade deadline. Know why? Normally, each year I'm not even aware that it's happening. But, BUT, this year, I have a TSN Trade Centre app on the ipod (his name is Allan), so I'll be getting alerts all throughout the day! Although, one problem may be that it blurts of the SportsCentre theme song every time there's an update, even if I have it on silent, which may be a problem considering I'll be in class...oh well. In sure my teachers will understand. And if not, well, screw them, they wish they had my super cool trades app.

So, my predictions are as follows:

Chris Phillips shall not be traded. I know I said he would be, but I don't know, I figure if it hasn't been done by now than it'll never be done. And besides, he isn't a free agent, which means he has that superpower that gives you the ability to say "No, I don't want to be traded there." In more litteral terms, it gives you the ability to be Dany the Douche. Boy, I haven't talked about him in a long time.

Okay, and also, Pascal Leclaire will never play another NHL game for the rest of his life. Yeah, I know, a pretty lofty prediction. But it's my gut. His injuries have ruined him. No team will want him, so he's going to stay on waivers forever and ever.

Next prediction is that more Sens will definitely be traded. Of these, I predict it'll be the likes of Filip Kuba and Brian Lee. But that's just me. Any one of them can go at this point. The ones that definitely won't be going are Alfy, Spezz and Karlsson. I'm not saying I'm happy about it, that's just what's going to happen.

Okay, final prediction: If any Pittsburgh Penguins get traded, I might cry a little bit. I know that's not really a prediction...well, I guess it is. I predict I shall cry.

We'll see after 3:00 p.m. today which of my predictions proved to be true. Enjoy the day everybody, happy apping!

The Ones the Sens Let Get Away and Counting

So, um, I'm thinking we should start a "The Ones the Sens Let Get Away and Counting". Because I'm sensing there's more to come. Okay, here we go.

1. Mike Fisher -Nashville

2. Chris Kelly -Boston

3. Brian Elliott -Colorado

4. Jaarko Ruutu -Anaheim

Um. Yeah, okay, I think I got them all. Um. But there'll be more. I'm sure. My prediction is that the next one to go will be Chris Philipps. You can quote me on that.

The 9 Things I Hate About You (part 1)

The Sens game versus Edmonton last night was some sort of universal gathering of aquaintances of Al. I think I saw like seventeen people I knew. Crazy shit. You know what else? Jesse Winchester got like seven million penalties. And there were some suuuuuper annoying bitches sitting next to me who kept using the Senators' first names and taking crappy pics, and every time they'd come into our zone, they'd be like, "Oh, hello you." and snap a shot. I wanted to flick that girl in the face, and not only because of her annoying-ass voice, but because she legit had botox-injected lips. Not even kidding. I know.

But in spite of that, I managed to get some sweeettt shots of Taylor and Jordan and Magnus on my phone. Her distraction was nothing compared to my epic photography skillage. I will figure out how to upload them from the cell to the computer soon enough, do not fret my dearies. Laugh out loud. Hello you.

Webster's Dictionary defines AL as nothing less than a complete and utter hyprocrite.

Club Shifting Style

Sergei Gonchar. We got him.

I don't even know how to express what I'm feeling right now into words, because Gonch was a Pen at heart, and I don't really know how he's going to feel about the transition. I love the Penguins, so I don't know if I'm sad that he isn't playing for my favorite team anymore or extatic that he'll be living in the same town as me for the next 3 years. I don't know how to feel. I guess I could feel angry, at Pittsburgh, because they didn't have the guts to re-sign him quickly enough. Because now LeSwoon is without a mentor, and Geno is without a shoulder to lean on. What is he going to do? Did anyone ever think about that, huh, when they decided that Sergei was too expensive to re-sign? Did anyone think about Evgeni? What's going to happen to him? How's he going to survive without his Russian padre to help him out? Sure, he's got Max now, but he's French. Geno can't speak French. And he can't learn another language now, things have been so hard on him already... I'm freaking out. Am I freaking out? This is a good thing. At least we didn't make a trade. Volchenkov for Gonchar, I don't know how that would've worked out. The Pens just lost their best defenseman, and now they have no one. They need someone, soon. But for now, we can bask in the glory of our new found greatness. Didn't I tell you off-season was fun?

Young & Stupid

**Haha. I just found this draft I hadn't finished writing about 3 million years ago. It made me laugh. Now, you get to read it too. You'll be able to place yourself perfectly in the time frame, don't even worry about it. Oh, I was so silly back then...**


Gahh. Tonight. Let me tell you bout tonight. Tonight, Eric Staal was in Ottawa. Tonight, Ovie was in Toronto. Tonight, Colby was in Montreal. Let me tell you bout tonight.

Let's start off in the Capital. Canes vs Sens. Ottawa was wearing their stupid SENS jerseys, and I immediately knew it wasn't going to be a good game. I mean, those jerseys. GOD. How can they show their faces in public wearing those things? They almost make the Habs' 1912-1913 zebra stripe barber pole retro uniforms look good.

Alright, so, retro Sens start off good, and, oh? Guess who gets a goal? Was it...

a) Cappy 'n Giggles


b)A spicy italian man

or

c) The guy who hasn't put one in in 16 games

That's right Kovalev, I'm talking about you. But don't look so hurt, it's a good thing. Because guess what happens next?

Its all tied up. Only a few minutes to go in the third. Both teams are bringing out their top guns.
And then.
And then.
And then.
Another AK27 goal.
W-O-W.

But wait.
There's more.
So.
The empty net.
Whats gonna happen.
Will E Staal score and tie up the game?
Or will the Sens redeem themselves once again?
Who knows?
I do.
I know.

Kovalev scores.
On the empty net.

He got a hat-trick, his first hat-trick as a Senator, and his 401st goal in the NHL. Yay, biiiiig celebration, right? Um, not so much. Kovalev smiles, skates off to the bench, and sits down. He looks at the fans, the fans who have yet to adore him, and his smile slowly fades. Why? Because he misses Montreal. If he had been playing for the Habitants when he scored this hat-trick, there would have been three million goddamn hats raining all over the goddamn rink. And what does he see here? A hat. One single hat, has made its way onto the ice surface. Kovalev is about to cry. Nothing is going right for him. He gets sent to play for this piece of shit team, and then the fans don't even accept him. He says one thing wrong, and all of a sudden he's "not fully commited to being here". He goes on a scoring drought. Wait, no. Not a scoring drought. A scoring and assisting drought. A scoring, assisting, and point-making drought. Hell, just a plain doing anything drought. But now he has broken it. He has scored three goals today. He has done good. And the fans can't even give him a few measly hats to celebrate? I'm sure, eventually, the fans realized what they were supposed to do, and began raining a couple more hats onto the ice. I mean, you can't blame them. They live in Ottawa. It isn't often they get to see someone get a hat-trick. They still aren't sure what to do.

Alright, so that's it. Ottawa wins, Carolina is screwed. Poor E. He's trying so hard, what with his new baby and all. I don't mean to be a downer, but there isn't a very big chance of him making the Olympic team with the effort his team is giving him. If his team can't do shit, he can't do shit. Poor, poor, miserable E.


**rolf rolf rolf :D**

Denial

Taken from the Ottawa Citizen on June 11th, 2010:

Jason Spezza a Proud Papa of a Baby Girl

OTTAWA — Jason and Jennifer Spezza are the proud parents of Sophia Donna, the Ottawa Senators confirmed Friday.

The baby girl was born June 8 around 11 p.m. Thursday at St. Joseph's Health Centre in Toronto.

No other details were immediately available.

Remember how I said I didn't care about Jason Spezza anymore?

I lied.
He turns 27 tomorrow.

Cross-Continental Affairs

WHAT DID I SAY? WHAT THE FUCK DAY I SAY?!

HABS. IN. 6.
WHOOT!

The best of three series starts now, ladies and gents. This'll be one for the books. For the rest of your life, you'll be able to say you saw the day the Montreal Canadiens, the last placed seed in the playoffs, beat off both the number one team in the league and the defending Stanley Cup Champions. You'll be able to say you witnessed history on that day. And you know who you'll say predicted this outcome? Yours truly over here, overjoyed with tears flowing down her cheeks. I just found out what candid means. This, is candid.

Three games remain possible in this series. The outcome: a mystery.

And to everyone who thought San Jose pulled a total "I am currently the shit" move and would sweep Detroit in four, take another look at that scoreboard. Because in the fourth game of the series, with the Wings down 3 games to none, the score currently strands 6-1. For Detroit. Who's the shit now, Sharks? Couldn't keep your legs under you long enough to take care of a team full of pot-bellied veterans, could ya now, Dany? Must've been all those affairs you've been having with the wives of all the Ottawa Senators. Cross-continental. All those flights back and forth must've really tired you out. Or maybe it was all the sex? I think your losing your touch, Douchebag.

Habs in 6.
Wings in 7.

#102

Hello, world. I have some very special news to share. This, here, what you're reading right at this moment, is my one hundred and second post. YeeuP. This blog has graced 102 posts. No joke. I wish I had realized this on my one hundredth , but I wasn't really paying attention, because I was too engrossed in telling you all about Tyler. Yep, it's true. My one hundredth post was used to enform you that Tyler Myers has a girlfriend. I think it was worth it.

And then my one hundred and first post was used to tell you that the Habs had won the first game of the series agains Washington, which was completely worth it, no doubt.

Pittsburgh, by the way, won their second game against Ottawa. Series is now 1-1.
Habs are currently tied 4-4 to Caps with 6:00 left in the third. Can you spell intense?

Not A Setback

Jesus of fuck.

Well, I guess you've all found out then.
Pittsburgh decided to lose their first game of the playoffs.
It would be an understatement to say I wanted to punch through a wall right now.
But no big. I have faith that they'll come together. They just didn't wanna embarrass Ottawa by sweepin' em. It's fine. They gave them the first one, but thats all. Build up their confidence just to send it crashing down. Its kind of mean, but hey. This is the playoffs. Anything goes.



Pens in 5.
Habs in 4.

Shitting Bricks

Ladies and gentlemen; the playoffs.

Yes, they're finally here. All is done and decided, and, after a year of anxious await, we have our teams. Some of the results were suprising, yes, especially how the best of the brothers (E Staal) didn't make the post-season because of the shit team he's been stuck on, and how the "Bolts" didn't make it either even though they had a 50+ goal sophmore un-slumper.

But all is well. And do you know why? Because the Habs made it in. Yes, yes they did. Don't sound so surprised. I knew they were gonna make it the whole time. Sure, they gave us a few scares here and there, but hell. What's the regular season for if not for giving 15 year old girls heart attacks?

No, I didn't forget that Montreal has to play Washington. It's not a big deal. Sure, they're the top team in the world, but I believe in my Habitants. They can do anything if they set their minds to it. My prediction? A sweep. Habs in 4.

OTTAWA IS PLAYING PITTSBURGH! WHOOOOO! The Hockey Gods actually read my letter this year! I feel so proud. I'm going to one of their games. The fourth one, actually. I kind of hope the Pens sweep, so that's I'll be in the stands to witness Geno smile. That will make my entire life, I can assure you.

I feel bad for San Jose. They've scored so many goals this year that analysists have even gone to the extreme of saying that Joe Thornton might not even flop these playoffs because of his newly acquired personal douchebag (Dany Heatley). I laugh at those people. Once a post-season flop, always a post-season flop. Thornton has a notorious record for shitting a brick every time he steps on playoff ice. This isn't going to change. I don't even need to know who the Sharks are playing to be sure that they're going to fail miserably.

I don't really feel bad.

WE GOT GOLD!

CANADA WON IT'S FIRST GOLD MEDAL ON HOME SOIL! WHOOWHOOWHOOOOO!

Alexandre Bilodeau was the one who did it, notching first place in the moguls. We all thought Cindy Klaussen was going to be the first in speed skating earlier that day, but she couldn't deliver. We got a bronze in that event, and the day before in women's moguls we got a silver. All in all, so far Canada has one of each, making us tied for third place in the medal standings. USA is unfourtunately in first place, but not for long. We have opened the floodgates to a shitload of gold medals that have yet to come!


On a more...melancholy note, Jonathan Cheechoo has been put on waivers for the Ottawa Senators. I guess we all knew it was going to happen eventually, but it stills hurts a little bit. It isn't a great feeling to have one of your supposed "top scorers" put away that you originally got to replace a top scoring douchebag you had before. We all thought he was going to do great things for the Senators. Guess not.


But screw this unhappiness. WE HAVE A FUCKING GOLD, CANADA!

Wow. WTF, Mate.

Kay, Toronto and Calgary just fucking switched teams, man. They like took all their players and completely swapped them. They might as well have just traded jerseys. Wow.

Here's the deal: Toronto thinks they're all hot stuff now cause they got Jiggy and Dion. What they don't seem to realize is that Phaneuf has been almost completely off his game for a while now, and a move to another part of Canada is not gonna change that. And Giguere hasn't had much fame since he oblitereated the Sens in the Stanley Cup final in...2006/07, was it? He's not half-bad, I'll admit to that, but he ain't got what it take anymore. His time is over, I'm afraid. The Leafs also got their fair share of no-names, like Keith Aulie and Sjoatrom. If anyone knows how the fuck to pronounce that, by all means, run it by me.

They also thought it would be fun to get rid of a couple of their well-known men. Sure, throw Toskala over to Anaheim for Jiggy Giguere, no problem, we'll take it. But toss Jason Blake over there too? No way. That dude battled cancer, man. He's got guts. Guts, and strength. That's what you need on your team; someone who's fought through a disease. That's why Montreal was so stupid to let Koivu go. He had a type of power with him that one can only get from fighting through an illness that has no goddamn cure. Every team in the NHL needs one of those guys.

Calgary on the other hand, got Matt Stajan. Ah, Matty. Don't you wanna just spread him on a cracker? He's just so goddamn cute. Too bad his game's gone to shit. They also got a few other guys like Hagman and White, but really, do we even know who the hell those guys are anymore?

So, simply, to sum up this little Toronto trade adrenaline. BIG BUNCH OF SHIT FOR NOTHING. Toronto has the debth to become a great team in the future, they just need to build it up. Hopefully, this new addition and diminishment of players will have no effect on their outcome this season or the one after that. If there's one good thing that happened this trade, it's that the Leafs decided to keep Luke Schenn. That man has a god in him, I swear.

Calgary still has Cappy Canada. They'll be fine.

Ah, Jarome. You are a breath of fresh air in this bomb shelter we call the NHL.

9 Straight Wins

The Sens just set a franchise record for nine wins in a row. They've never done that before, apparently. The long list of teams they've beat in this stretch include Chicago, the current top team in the league, New Jersey, the home of the greatest goalie in the history of hockey, Pittsburgh, the defending Stanley Cup champions, twice against Boston and twice against Montreal. Their latest game, earlier today, was won against the Habs. Does the win still fully count if it was in over-time?

The Hockey Player's Guide: How to Make a Girl Swoon

I would just like to make something known to the world today.

Mike Fisher high-fived me at the New Jersey game. No, not one of those fake air high-fives from the ice, he actually high-fived me, like, hand to hand contact. Well, no. My hand to his glove contact. Which makes it like fifteen times better.

See, I went to where the players come out of the dressing room and walk out onto the ice, and I stuck my hand out to see if any of the guys would maybe make my day. The first half just...didn't. Maybe it was because I was wearing my Kris Letang jersey to the game. I made a point to make myself known as a Penguins fan. I got booed. It was awesome.

Anyway, most of the Senators ignored me, and my outstreched hand. But then the future Mr. Carrie Underwood waltzed out, almost completely oblivious to everything around him and 100% in his zone. He did not see my Leswoon jersey. He did not look up to make sure I was a Sens fan. He simply stuck out his glove, without even glancing in my direction, and taped his hand against mine. And, with that, just about my whole life was made. He gave my life meaning.

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. I was jubilant after that; I was the happiest person in the world. Nothing could rain on my parade. A pimp could spit in my mouth and I wouldn't care. So I didn't care much when Jason Spezza walked out. I still had my hand out, you know, just in case, and also because I was in so much after-shock from the Mike Fisher touching that I became momentarily paralyzed. Spezza, obviously, being the caring and excrutiatingly friendly man that he is, decided to make my day/week/year/life even better. No, he did not high-five me. He lifting up his stick, blade first, and touched my hand with it. With his stick.

So, to sum up: Mike Fisher glove and Jason Spezza blade. My left had shall never be washed again. And also, I was on TV. I was sitting directly behind the space between the two benches, where the camera dude films the game and all that, and he decided to turn it on me. I don't know why he did it, he knew I was wearing a Pittsburgh jersey after all. But, either way, he had his camera on me for about ten seconds. I didn't look at it, so from the TV it might look as if I were completely oblivious to the whole thing, but I knew. Oh, I knew.



Congratulations on the freakishly long winning streak, by the way, Ottawa. It is getting kind of old. You've already beaten the best team in the league, the best players in the league, and now the best goalie in the history of the NHL. Way to go. You can stop now. Please. It's annoying.

Hot Streak

Yes, the Sens are on a winning streak. Five games in a row, first time this season, whoopteedo. Alfie is killing everybody, racking up the points and leading his team to a potential player berth. Kovalev, Shannon and Regin and dominating on the top line, while the defense are keeping the pucks inside the blue-line and working the corners. The goalie troubles seem to be long gone, with Elliot doing alright and Mike Brodeur a most capable backup. Yes, things finally seem to be happening for the Senators.


Problem is, they're happening without Jason Spezza.

Montreal Misses You, Kovalev

I went to the Ottawa-Philedelphia game today...what a game.

First goal is scored by Philly right off the bat, and we're all like 'oh shit'. But then, all outta no where, Kovalev scores two goals. So does Chris Kelly, making it 4-1 Sens after the first. So, my sister and I at the game are all cheering for a shootout, right, because we were right up at the front and we wanted to someone to pull an Ovechkin and hurl their bodies at the glace after a goal. But once the Sens go up by three goals, we think all hope is lost, right?

Wrong.

Second period, Flyers throw in three extra goals, tying it up at 4. Life is good again for the people who don't give a shit about the Sens and just wanna see some good tough hockey. Because when the score is tight, that's when it's gonna get rough.

Third period. Everything's intense. Everyone's on the edge of their seats and...guess who? Alex Kovalev, throwing in another puck for his second hat-trick of the season. Unfortunately, we did not have any hats on our person, but my sister did get a special red Ottawa hat tossed her way, which she gracefully lauched on the ice. Chris Kelly tosses another one in, putting the Sens up 6-4, burrying our shoot-out dreams in the ground and buying us all a free slice of pizza. And, you know, funnily and ironically enough, they used to call the Alfredsson-Spezza-Heatley line the Pizza line, because they used to contribute a lot to all the goals that the Sens used to score, you know, before their game went to hell, and not a single member of that line was present in that game. Alfie and Spezz are injured, and Heater, as you know, is off making history with his new friends in the hot hot sun.

So, the game starts getting a little bit better. Time is running out, and there's only one thing left for Philly to do: smash Ottawa's face into the boards. Which is exactly what they tried to do, not much to any avail. There were no fights today. I have never been so dissapointed with Neil and Carkner in my entire life. Neil did not get one pernalty the entire game. Not one. And my seats were right next to the box. I was looking forward to saying hello to him.

Anyhow, Kovalev decides to put another goal in, just for fun. You know, it seems that whenever he scores, he always has to make a huge deal of it and put in two or three more just to make it seem more special. Have you ever noticed that? He has 11 goals this season, and two hat-tricks. Today he had four goals and like three million assists. AK27 was on fire.

Both starting goalies for each respective team were pulled close to the beginning of the game. Pascal Leclaire looked extremely blue sitting there on the bench. His hair was hanging over his face in beautiful brown strands. It was a sight to behold, I can tell you.

Final score: Ottawa-7, Philedelphia-4. What an upset. Chris Pronger may be a beast, but today he played like crap. He is a disgrace to the dynasty that is the 2010 Canadian Olympic Team. Why he even made it is beyond me. And Richards wasn't anything special either. I'm beginning to wonder about Stevie Yzerman's current sanity. And Kovalev should've made the Russian team. No question.

For the Love of God

I just found out that Jesse Winchester, of the Ottawa Senators if you didn't know which you really should, has a really cool nickname. They call him "The Lane Finder". How awesome is that? He isn't even fully on the team, he keeps switching back from Binghamton to Ottawa and back again. That must be tough. It sucks that they make the farm teams so far away from the actual NHL team. Someone should look into that. If not for me, for our good friend Jesse. He isn't even really a part of the team and they still give him a nickname. How great is that? That really shows how loving and caring and giving and recieving and open-minded and greatful and manly and humble and nice the Ottawa Senators are. Hell, they kicked Buffalo's ass the other night without two of their best players! That, ladies and gentlemen, shows depth. The Sens have a depth like you have never seen. If they're missing a big goalscorer, like when Dany Douchebag Heatley ditched during the summer and completely screwed over two NHL franchises, they have people step up to take the plate. Like Mike Fisher. He is having the greatest season of his life, not to mention his new fiance with the million dollar engagement ring. And when the Sens are missing a big hitter, like when Chris Neil was out for a while and we thought all hope was lost, BAM! Matt Carkner. There are even debates now that Matt Carkner could even beat Chris Neil in a cage fight. That's huge! So, when Ottawa lost Jason Spezza, they didn't cry! Well, most of them didn't. You know, I'm not counting myself in all of this. But anyway, they weren't upset because they knew that their team had the depth to make up for their loss and come out on top in any situation. They were on top of the world, they could conquer anything! Well, that was all until that faithful (fateful?) night about a week ago when they got their asses handed to them on a silver plater by the defending Stanley Cup champions. They lost their captain, they lost their dignity, and, worst of all, they lost their hope. There was no hope for their next game that they had to play against the Buffalo Sabres. They didn't have Alfredsson, a fearless leader and an amazing play-maker with a killer shot, and they didn't have Spezza, someone who hasn't really been on his game the past two seasons (something I have and will always to continue to blame on his wife) but a stand-up guy all the same. The poor little Senators didn't know what to do! They were lost and confused; they knew they needed to depend on someone, but who? Not Kovalev...sure, he's a great hockey player; he has amazing hands and a snipe that could rip right through Brian Miller's glove, but he's not dependable. Hell, they needed someone consistent, someone who they could count on to do what was best in the time when it matterd most. Someone, someone like Fisher. Yes, he would be their captain, he would be their leader. He would be the one to lead them into the abiss. Or would he? Would he continue to do what he's been doing all season long? Would he make the passes, take the hits, and rack up the points? Or would he crash and burn? We've seen it happen many-a-time before; you're only hope in the world fail on you in your time of need. Maybe it's all the preasure. You know, it's really hard to funtion when a whole city of caffeine-crazed hockey fans is depending on you. Maybe that's Kovalev's problem. Well, we'll never know for sure, but I have a theory about him. When we're all excited, we're thinking, "Good, we've got Alexei Kovalev, he'll replace Dany Heatley no problem, he'll solve all our problems." That's when things will go wrong! That's when he'll crash and burn! See? When we give up on him completely, when we say, "Jesus Christ, we've made the biggest mistake of our lives, bringing this turd on the team. He can't do shit for anybody!" That's when he'll shine! Don't you guys get it yet? That's why he's so inconsistent! Wow, I'm just one kid and I figured that out. You'd think the greatest hockey minds in the world would be able to figure it out too. I mean, if the game against Buffalo wasn't enough proof for you, I don't know what else to give. Kovalev was amazing that game. He kicked ass. In the "stud" and "dud" report in the newspaper yesterday, he was the stud! Kovalev is a great hockey player, and don't you ever forget it!



Wow, what the hell was I talking about here?

PITT--8 OTT--2

No, the title doesn't lie. The Ottawa Senators traveled to Pittsburgh yesterday in good spirits: they were celebrating the return of their number 1 goalie Pascal Leclaire, as well as big hitter Chris Neil and winger Sean Donovan. Twas even the night before the night before Christmas, that had to count for some good luck, right?

Wrong.

First period, no score, first thing that happens? Captain Daniel Alfredsson gets caught with a shoulder to the head and immediately goes down and doesn't return to the game. No penalty was called on the play, causing much contraversy between the two teams, and setting the tone for a long, sad, scrappy night for Ottawa. If the Senators weren't pushing and shoving and recieving unnecessary penalties, the Penguins were probably scoring a goal.

So, the first period ends 1-1. Evgeni Malkin clinched his first goal of the game. Not bad, both teams are still easily capable of grabbing hold of this one. Soon into the second though, things begin to happen.

A goal.

Another goal.

And another goal.

And another.

And one more, just for kicks.

So, by the end of the second, this is how the game is looking:

• Pascal Leclaire has let in 5 goals in 20 minutes.


• Billy Guerin, a Pitt veteran, has two goals, and so does teammate Evgeni Malkin.


• Ruslan Fedetenko and Chris Kunitz both have one as well for the Pens.


• The only goal for Ottawa is held by Chris Kelly


• The score now stands 6-1

So, without much question, Pascal Leclaire has been benched for the third. But no, he sits not on the bench with the rest of his sad teammates like you would expect. He sits perfectly protected behind the glass, in order to not harm his new plastic jaw. He even keeps his helmet on for the first few minutes for good mesure.

Elliot is once again in nets for the Senators, much to his delight. His happiness doesn't last long, however, because our little Geno decides, "I likes score goals. I not get hat trick in long time. I no like Ottawa. I show Ottawa that I no like Ottawa. I make Ottawa sad. I make mama Malkin happy. I score third goal now."

And that is exactly what he does.

Geno enjoys all the attention he's getting, and he watches for several minutes as fans littered the ice with headware and the loudspeakers boomed "Let it Snow". Of course, he doesn't understand the significance of the song, but he smiles widely all the same.

By now, the Sens are upset and frustrated. They managed to put one more goal in, a fabulous slap-shot by Anton Volchenkov from the blue line right off the face-off, but they know they are done for. So, they decide to do what most teams do when they are getting annihilated: they started yapping and throwing punches.

Chris Neil challenged and almost killed Mike Rupp, and less than a minute later Matt Carkner and Adams came together briefly. Sean Donovan and Matt Cooke had a rather long conversation on the face-off, of what consisted mostly of Donovan raising his eyebrows in question or challenge and Cookie continuously shaking his head. After the drop of the puck Donovan tried to fight a reluctant Cooke by pulling him back by his jersey. Cookie scurried away unscathed and the refs skating in to a dissapointed and confused Sean Donovan, who received a minor for unsportsmanlike conduct as well as a 10-minute major. He did not return to the game.

The Pens managed to pop a final goal in for a satisfying 8-2 home victory. The amazing line of Malkin, Kunitz and Guerin were spectacular, ending the game with a total of 12 points, with six goals. As for the Senators, it was an ugly game all around, and it set the stage for a difficult and dissapointing new year. So much for a merry Christmas.

~

Oh, one more thing. Remember Alfie's crazy full-face visor that he had to wear for a few games after he broke his jaw? Jordan Staal got hit in the nose with either a puck or a stick last game and look what he had to wear.

Seem familiar? I don't know about you, but I think he wore it well.