Another WTF for the Little People

New Jersey won the draft lottery! WTF, mate. They were in 8th from last, with like a 3.9% of winning...and they did...which is strange to say the least. But the craziest thing is that apparently even if you win, you can only go up four spots in the draft lottery, so they'll only get fourth pick...hmm. Edmonton is still gets first pick. Most has stayed the same, although the Sens, who ended the season fourth from last, are now receiving the fifth draft pick because the Devils (irony) pushed them back. You know, it's stupid, if Ottawa had not started winning at the end of the season they would've had a much higher up draft pick. But, noooooo they had to protect their pride. Silly Sens. Not that it makes much of a difference anyway, they could end up with a freakin Jeff Skinner, as oppose to opting for a #2 draft such as Tyler Seguin, who, for fucks sake does shit-all for his team. Your order in the draft really means nothing. Players become who they are with time, you can never tell right off the bat. Exhibit A: Alexandre Daigle. Comparison? Chris Pronger. Same draft, first and second, and who's sticking it out in the big leagues? That's what I thought.

Oh, yeah. And the playoffs are starting tonight. NBD.

Gotta Get Down

So only a few games left in the regular season before the playoffs and the Senators' much-hyped golfing season. They officially have a spot in the draft draw for the top pick, so they'll have like a 10-20% chance of winning depending on their final placement in the league. The Oilers are officially number 30, which means YAY! 48% chance that they'll win. Not that that really means anything, the draft is always a surprise. Who knows, perhaps Toronto will make a split-second Boston move and trade Phil Kessel to Ottawa for their spot in the draw. Haha.

Daniel Alfredsson isn't going to be returning for this season, apparently his back injury is no laughing matter, according to the Ottawa Citizen. It isn't a surgery-related issue...yet. And also in the paper this morning Alfy and Spezza were included in the best Senators players in their many (19) years in the NHL. So, technically, of all time. That anyone remembers. Technically. Anyway. Also included in the list were Marian Hossa, Wade Redden and Zdeno Chara. Wade Redden doesn't play in the NHL anymore. Chara is currently a hated player around the Canada-area for his hit on Pacioretti. And Hossa...is still Hossa. HO$$A. I dunno. He's one of the only remaining players on the Chicago Blackhawks. And Spezza and Alfredsson still play for Ottawa. Enough said.

Someone asked me the other day if I knew that my title was spelled wrong. I do know. I spell loonie in the french fashion. Loonie isn't even a word in french, however that is my excuse. I find 'ey' too american, don't you? Well excuse me for bringing a little culture to the group. We could all stand to be taken down a peg or two when it comes to preserving our Canadian heritage. I wonder what percentage of my L.E readers are American. Hopefully a healthy dose. I like to think I have a relatively diverse range of peoples around here. I think I lost track of what I was talking about. Wouldn't be the first time, anyway.

Things Are Finally Looking Up

This is gonna be a good year. I can feel it. It didn't start out too well, but its gonna work out. Hell, its getting better already. Why? The Oilers=undefeated in the pre-season. The reason?



The one on the right is Magnus Paajarvi-Svensen. Remember I told you about him? He's awesome. I like how I discovered him all on my own, just like I discovered Kevin Bieksa. I wonder where he is right now. I still haven't seen Jordan Eberle play with Taylor Hall yet!! But I know what'll make it better. Because look what I found.

Why yes, those are pictures of Taylor Hall and Tyler Seguin at the Draft training assessment thing. Why don't we dive deeper, hmm?

Hockey players' arms aren't supposed to look like that. Those are like, body builders' arms. They don't really match. This is why we're Team Taylor here at Loonie Engraved. And I don't mean Team Werewolf. I mean Team Freakin Hall.

Let's see them all together again.

Aha. Look at Jordan. You know Paajarvi (I don't feel comfortable calling him Magnus, we aren't on a first-name basis yet) just told a joke, and Hallsy's laughing his ass off, and Ebz is just like "Hahaha...I don't get it."

Ahh. Canada hasn't won the cup in a while. This is our time. It's a Canada year.

'Atta Boy, Taytay

This whole year, everyone kept saying Tyler Seguin was going to go first. The scouts said it, the coaches said it, the announcers said it. It was always a battles between Taylor and Tyler, but somehow, Taylor Hall continuously fell short of expectations. He played for Team Canada in the World Juniors, he lead his Windsor Spitfires to win the Memorial Cup two years running, he won the Wayne Gretzy 99 Award, Eddie Powers Memorial Trophy, the Stafford Smythe Memorial Trophy and the Ed Chynoweth Trophy, all in the past two years. Did Tyler Seguin play for Baby Canada? Did Tyler Seguin win two Memorial Cups in a row? Did Tyler Seguin win all that shit-bucket of awards?

No. But somehow, all of those unbelievable achievements did not get Taylor ahead of Tyler in the running for No. 1 overall draft pick. It left him feeling pretty glum.

But Tayl0r Hall never gave up. And the Edmonton Oilers saw something in him that was obvious to the rest of us, but conspicuously hidden in the eyes of the NHL world. Taylor and Tyler both showed up at that draft. And who's name was called first?

Oh, Tay. You know you deserved this. And we know you deserved this. So suck in all this glory that you got now. And take the time to rub it in Tyler's face. Because this was your draft all along. We were here supporting you from the sidelines, and you never gave up because this was something you had worked for your entire life. Now, you get the opportunity to bring a drowning team down from the deepest depths of the standings and carry them on your back on the road to greatness. You're getting the opportunity to be Sidney Crosby. And I think you're ready.

Tyler Seguin, he doesn't get that opportunity. The Boston Bruins were in the playoffs this year. They even made it past the first round. That's not a team that needs rebuilding. Chances are, young Tyler won't even get to play next year. The Bruins are perfectly fine without him. He won't be a star. You, you Taylor Hall, will be a star. Screw Tyler. This draft will forever be know as Taylor vs. Tyler, and everyone will remember who came out on top. Five, ten years from now, people will look at this picture and say:

"Whatever happened to that other guy?"

The smile tells it all. Tyler, go cry in a hole. Leave Taylor to celebrate this moment. He deserves it more than anyone.

X-Weighted

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH THE WORLD?!?!

The Hawks traded Byfuglien. They traded Big Buff! Not only that, but Ben Eager, and Brent Sopel! What the hell? The three of them are joining Colby in Atlanta, in exchange for the 24th pick in the draft. This better be a damn good son, because not just anyone can replace our playoff heroes. We also get a second round draft pick, and some shit guys named Jeremy Morin, Marty Reasoner and Joseph Crabb. Who the fuck are these people? And what gives them the right to take the spots of our men? These are our men!

Fuck the NHL. This draft better be good. If Taylor Hall does not go first, I will kill something.