The Wonder That is 26

I'd like to wish a rather bitter-sweet birthday to our favorite womanizer, Mr. Maxime Talbot. He is turning 26, and it is bitter-sweet in the sense that most hockey players tend to settle down and get married at that particular age. Jason Spezza, Colby Armstrong...those are just a couple of the numerous players who had decided to wed their spouces at the wonderfully aged year of 26. The years up to 26 are supposed to be your "party years", the days when you spend your time not worrying too much about anything expect for having fun and consuming way too much alcohol. It's a fun time, I'll tell you. But somehow, and I don't know what does it, the morning after a man's 26th birthday, there is a change that occurs. Something happens inside their small two-track minds that causes them to finally think about settling down. They suddenly think they're "old", and that the proper thing to do once you become "old" is to find a averagely pleasant, nice lady and pop the question. Funnily enough, that one question is something those girls have been dreaming about their entire lives, and something the guys probably haven't even thought about once.

Birthdays are usually a very exciting thing for me, filled with happiness and gratitude and hope for the future, but not today. I really do not want Maxime Talbot to get married this year. Max finally realizing that his destiny in life is to not to hook up with every girl in America would be a catastrophe, to say the least. Sure, we always talk about how gross and pig-like he is for all of those one-night-stands that he is so well known for, but really, it's what makes him who he is. Max without a different girl every night is like superman without his powers. He has the cape, and yet he cannot fly.

To sum up: Max, there is no need to start considering marriage. Find a girl, go out on a date, maybe keep her around for a little while, but take it slow. I think you need a little bit of real relashionship experience before you go all "wedding bells" on us. You are not old. You are simply maturing.

Happy birthday. Make it the best night of your life. Hire yourself some nice ladies to spend some time with. I'm sure there are some genius pranks waiting for you back at your house. Just a gift from the boys. Have a martini from me to top it off.