Karma's a bitch

The first day of my new blog and the only thing on my mind to write about is the heart-breaking event that was game five. Lord Stanley would be ashamed.

Five zip. How often do you get to hear that mid-finals of the Stanley Cup Playoffs? Flower, I mean really, three on your glove-side? And one in the 5 hole? I understand the blocker goal, but I blame Dan Bylsma for not benching you earlier. I love you man, but you were awful last night.

Maxime Talbot makes my life. If it weren't for him, I would have turned off the t.v right after the second. Pavel Datsyuk's first game back after a broken foot, and what does Maxy do? Skates right on over to him and gives him a big whack right on the foot. Ouch. Unfourtunately, it didn't do much for us, giving the Wings a two-man advantage with Crosby already in the box, and causing another goal on Fleury, but what the hell? Might as well give the media something to talk about. Datsyuk doesn't deserve to be on that ice, after missing the entire series. His hesitation looked to be house-league worthy.

Still, Pens, seriously, you've gotta step it up. Geno, stick to the puck. It's your spaghetti. Breakfast, lunch and dinner, bud. Don't let the cripple scare you. Pretend every single person in that crowd is Mama Malkin. Make her proud.

Also, Crosby, Zetterberg is supposed to be shadowing you, not the other way around. I know I have absolutely no right at all the judge you, because I have nothing but respect for you, but you're their captain. Their leader. If you were to jump of a bridge into a mile-deep pile of shit, the rest of the Pens would follow your sorry golden ass into that shithole. No joke. If you lose your momentum, there's no way we're gonna make it all the way.

Do it for Mario and the kids. They've housed you, man. They took you in when no one else would and you needed love and care. Do it for Colby Armstrong. Even though he's long gone now, he still believes in you, and was your roomate and told the press all of your embarrassing secrets. Do it for Geno. The only three syllable words he knows how to say are 'spaghetti' and 'atmosphere'. He's been working so hard to learn this alien language will Sergei Gonchar's little girl, and we're all so proud of him. If you were to look up the definition of 'perserverence' in the Russian-English dictionnary, you would find Geno. Do it for Jordan Eberle. He saved Canada in the very last seconds of our remaining dignity, when the most dedicated of canadian fans had lost all hope and were beginning to turn off the television or radio. Do it for all of Canada. We believe in you, Sid. Represent.

By the way, Max, your beard makes you look like a hobo.